


A Different Choice

by JazzyNessa



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2018-07-26 20:20:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 33,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7588666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JazzyNessa/pseuds/JazzyNessa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by CuriousStar's from fanfiction.net's amazing prompt: Bea never tried to kill Harry. Instead after she gets beaten pretty badly she goes to a women's shelter for a night and meets Allie. Bea continues to go back to the shelter even when she hasn't been hurt (does hair makeovers for the other women?) and grows closer to Allie.<br/>As you can see, A Different Choice makes for a different story!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, Ballie lovers. This one is definitely AU based on the prompt in the story summary. When I received the prompt, I realized it was going to be a multi-chapter story, because this one decision of not trying to kill Harry would have changed, well, everything! Consider it fate for Ballie though...because even without Wentworth, they are destined to be...right? I guess we will see ) As long as Ballie survives the finale, AllieCat will go on hiatus after I write about 4x12. This multi-chap and other stories are intended to fill the wait!**

On a warm summer night, Bea leaned her aching body against a rusted light pole. She wiped the blood from her eye and winced when she applied too much pressure. She knew it would probably be swollen shut by morning, the bastard hit like a heavyweight.

Taking in her surroundings, Bea stared at the crumbling building across the street. A few women stood beside the doorway, silhouettes in the night, smoke rolling towards the heavens. Though a womens shelter did not broadcast its location, she was in the right place it seemed, unsure of the directions here really, just a vague idea of its location when she ran for her life in the dead of night.

A burly figure blocked the entrance, a man Bea thought at first glance, but realized she was wrong when the woman yelled, "Five minutes till we lock up. Better get your last drag in, loves." So, not a man, even better.

Bea stepped off the sidewalk and into the street. Jolts of pain hindered every step. Her breath was ragged, pressure unrelenting from her ribs that were surely cracked, but not broken, not this time.

Bea crept forward, each step taking the toll of one hundred. When she finally made it to the curb, one little step to go, she tripped and free-fell, not having the strength to stop herself from hitting the ground.

Yet, she didn't. Right before she added more bruises to her growing collection, soft, yet sturdy hands caught her. A frantic, feminine voice yelled in her ear, "Kaz...she's hurt...help me."

Bea looked up to see wide blue eyes, sunken in a little bit, like maybe they saw a lot of pain too.

"It's okay, we got ya," the girl's angelic voice soothed as the hands on her doubled and they lifted her off the ground, linking hands to form a chair underneath her.

"I can walk," Bea argued. This was ridiculous, she only stumbled over a step.

"Yeah, you're doing a fair job of it," the young woman teased with a light chuckle as they carried her to the doorway.

Bea stared at her in awe. Bea hadn't heard anyone laugh since her daughter went away with her friends for the summer. Harry's drinking had only gotten worse, and so had his temper, since their daughter left almost a month ago. Six weeks to go. It could be a century at this rate.

Bea didn't stop staring at the blue eyed blond until the other woman, Kaz apparently, cleared her throat. Bea met the stern gaze of the other blond, the one around her age. "Anyone coming after you tonight?" Kaz huffed.

"No," Bea answered quickly and honestly. Harry would have passed out by now, not come chasing after her. He couldn't hurt her in public, that would destroy the image he portrayed for himself.

"Can you really walk?" Kaz questioned.

"Yeah, I think so."

"All right, Allie. Let's put her down...slowly."

Her landing pad had a name. A pretty name for a pretty girl. Bea shook her head, what was she doing? She wasn't gay, yet she seemed captivated by this young woman who quite literally swept her off her feet. Must be the adrenaline, Bea justified as her feet met solid ground again.

"This one's with us," Kaz advised the bouncer.

Bea's arm tingled where Allie's touched it when the young woman linked their elbows and began to walk them through the door.

Bea wanted to shake her arm free, this new feeling foreign to her, but she knew she wouldn't. She didn't really mind the feeling that much, and she had to admit walking was easier with help.

They stepped inside the dimly lit building, not enough single light bulbs in cages were hanging from the ceiling. There were stairs to the right, and a long hallway in front of them, but the blonde women led her towards a small room to the left.

"We just got to let Maude know you are here," Kaz said, walking into the open doorway.

Bea stopped immediately, feet planted firmly. She couldn't say she was here. What if she needed to come back? What if he found out about this place and she no longer had a place to go, if she even had one now. Finding it harder than before to breathe, she began to hyperventilate.

The girl attached to her of course noticed. "You don't have to give your name," Allie assured.

Bea met her eyes, but continued to gasp for breath. "It's okay...slow breaths...nice and easy." Allie's free hand brushed across Bea's back, and those same strange tingles appeared, though she was soon able to catch her breath.

"Are you two coming?" Kaz shot from the doorway.

"She just needed a minute." Allie defended before continuing to lead them towards the office.

A robust woman with gray hair, Maude she assumed, greeted her by saying, "Jesus, someone did a number on you."

Bea could only nod. Though she hadn't seen herself in a mirror, she could tell exactly what she looked like by which parts of her body were screaming, and which ones blood were caking at, some still seeping. Bloody hell, literally.

"For funding purposes you are a number. It will not be reported anywhere that you personally were here. This is a safe place, we follow a strict set of rules. Not a lot of rules, we're just strict on the ones we have to protect all the women here. Do you understand?"

Once again, Bea just nodded.

"First off, I'm Maude. You've met Kaz and Allie." For some reason Bea could feel the heat rising to her face at the mention of the young blond's name. Could they notice under her bruising? Bea hoped not. "What do we call you?"

Even though she expected the question, it still left Bea speechless. She looked at Allie, like this girl she didn't know had all the answers. Allie smiled gently and nodded.

She looked back at Maude, who sat beside a plain wooden desk. "Bea," she whispered.

"Like the letter?" Kaz snorted. "Okay, I'm K then. This here is A and M. They talk a lot, like the radio frequency. Makes up for you not saying a whole word."

Bea lowered her head. This woman was abrasive, her temperament scraping across Bea's wounded being.

"Shut the fuck up, Kaz," Allie hissed.

"Karen, why don't you make yourself useful and prepare things for Bea to have a shower." Maude insisted, and Bea was glad when she left without a fight.

"Allie, help her into a chair," Maude directed, pointing at the pair of chairs opposite where she sat.

Together they walked forward, and Allie guided her into a seat.

"Alright, Allie. I have a few questions for B here. It might be easier if you step out for a minute."

The girl had just let go, and Bea whimpered before grabbing her arm. Fuck, she couldn't do this. She couldn't stand against Harry, not now. She had no money and no way to support her daughter; she shouldn't have came here. He would have passed out eventually.

"It's okay," Allie soothed again. "I'll stay with you." She sat in the chair next to Bea's and held her hand out. Bea grabbed it without hesitation and squeezed tight.

They both turned and faced Maude who began her questioning right away. "Do you know who did this to you?" Bea nodded. "Your husband?" Bea closed her eyes. She couldn't say it.

Maude didn't press, but instead asked, "Have the police been notified?"

Bea lost her grip on Allie's hand, and went to stand. "I...gotta...go."

Allie tightened her hold, and ran her thumbs across the top of Bea's hand, the sizzle contradictory to the relief it brought. "Maude won't call the screws. She just needed to know if a report has been filed."

Bea shook her head. A report? What does she look like? Someone that ever came out on the right side of a piece of paper? Birth certificate showed father unknown. Too bad it didn't say the same for her mother, bless her soul. Marriage certificate equaled entrapment. Her daughter's birth certificate the only good in her life, despite the father listed there.

"Actually, I am legally bound to call the police if a life is in danger. Do you have children, B?"

"Teenage dau...ghter...she's away on holiday."

"Can he get to her?"

"No...but...he's never...just me. Only when he's drunk. He drinks more when she's gone." Bea finished in a whisper.

Maude stared at her long and hard, before nodding. "Okay, here are the rules. Number one, no men. Like yourself most of the women here have men they would rather not know where they are at. Number two, no drugs or alcohol. Not everyone here is an addict..." Allie coughed beside her, her hand twitching against Bea's. "But it serves zero purpose here, except a crutch to hinder your true healing. Number three, hands off other people and their property. Everyone here has been a victim long enough. Finally, you go out those doors after curfew, you will not be let back in. No exceptions. Every girl's safety in this building is the top priority...do you understand?"

Bea simply nodded.

"Alright then, we can discuss more in the morning. Anything else you think I should know?"

Bea thought a moment, then mumbled, "Yeah, it's not B the letter. B-e-a for Beatrice...except, it's just Bea."

Maude grinned. "Alright, Bea, go with Allie. She will help get you settled."

Bea turned to look at the girl in question as they both rose together "At your service, ma'am," Allie winked.

Bea blushed again. It had been a long time, but was this girl flirting with her? Now? When she looked her ultimate worst? Probably not, Bea surmised. No one wanted an old housewife with baggage, that's what Harry always told her. He was probably right, Bea realized with a sigh, though she wasn't sure why that bothered her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can’t even begin to wrap my mind around 4x12. So here is the next chapter of the new story, and I am going to go write smut, because I just need to! Is it May yet?
> 
> P.S. I decided that this story would be the most powerful by switching the POV back and forth. For now, I think I am going to do every other chapter and see how that works out**

As she led Bea out of Maude's office and down the hallway towards the bathroom, Allie repeatedly got caught staring at this beaten, yet somehow still beautiful woman who quite literally fell into her life. They had been holding hands since Maude's interrogation had spooked Bea. Allie had oddly never felt so complete, hands intertwined with this captivating stranger. If she wasn't in the first weeks of sobriety and living in this shit-hole, Allie would think her life was a fairy tale.

When Bea's eyes met her gaze once again, Allie hurried to make an excuse. "So...I...well...this is the grand tour." Really, the grand tour? And you're the tour guide of what, the Smithsonian? Dumbass...

Bea just looked at her expectantly, hopefully not judging Allie as harshly as she judges herself.

Allie hurried to point out their surroundings. Everyone needs to know where they are, and how to get out. "Right-o. Upstairs are the single bed rooms, everyone gets their own. There is also a bathroom upstairs. All the rooms down here have their own purpose. There is the kitchen and the dining room," Allie pointed through the open arched door, as she slowly led Bea down the hall.

"Down here is the library with WiFi so women can take classes, or look for a job. There's the rec room that has a TV. Only basic cable, but not too shabby. That's the laundry," Allie pointed at the second to last door before opening the final one. "And here's the showers."

As they walked through the doorway, Bea trailing behind her, squeezing hard on their interlocked fingers, Kaz calls out from in front of the sinks before them, "Still holding hands with your girlfriend, Allie?"

Bea dropped her hand and grunted, slamming on her brakes. Which might have been Kaz's intent, because she smirked before telling Allie, "I put everything she needs for the shower in the third stall. First aid kit is on the bench over there."

Allie nods before turning to look back at Bea and pointing at the showers to their right. Bea steps around her, taking small steps to her destination.

Kaz walked towards Allie and the exit. "The girls and I are playing cards, if you want to join us," Kaz offers to Allie when Bea was past them.

"I'm gonna..." Allie points to the showers.

Kaz sighs and calls her out, loudly. "Don't get too attached to this one, Allie. She'll go back to her husband, just wait. Don't let her bring you down with her, kiddo." Kaz patted Allie on the back and walked out the door, leaving Bea and Allie alone.

Allie went to see if she could help and found Bea, still fully dressed with her curtain open, staring at the wall.

"Do you need help?"

Bea jumped, and Allie wanted to kick herself. Bea just got the shit knocked out of her, of course she is easily startled.

"I...don't think...can't lift arms." Bea cried out without turning around.

"I'll help," Allie soothed, taking two steps forward to be right behind Bea.

Bea bristled at the contact. "I'm not gay..."

Fuck! Stupid fucking Kaz and her big mouth. "I don't care what you are."

Bea didn't say a word, though she didn't shrug Allie off either. "Look...Kaz...she just worries about me, okay? I'm not helping you because I'm gay...I'm..."

Bea cut her off with a heartbreaking whisper. "Then why are you helping me?"

"I've been here before, not that long ago really. Kaz helped me..."

Bea scoffed, and Allie giggled before defending her mentor. "I don't know what her problem is tonight, but she's a good woman. She's a good one to have your back. Her, Maude...and me..." Allie whispered the last part before finding her voice. "So, let me help you...okay?"

Bea gave the slightest nod before she turned around and faced Allie. As gently as she could, Allie pulled up on the bottom of Bea's t-shirt. When Allie's fingers accidentally grazed Bea's ribs, she gasped, and not from pleasure. Allie had resisted the temptation to look until then, not wanting to freak the woman out. Allie might happily be a lesbian, but she was not a predator. She wouldn't take anything that was not offered.

Allie looked down as objectively as she could and her gut clenched, bile terrorizing her sensitive stomach. Bea's midsection was covered in large angry bruises, some the size of a boot-print. That useless fucking bastard.

With Bea's shirt still in her hands, Allie looked up at Bea wide-eyed. "You need a doctor."

"NO!" It was Allie's turn to jump, unprepared for the sudden outburst. "They aren't broken. It's not that bad." Allie scoffed, but Bea didn't give her a chance to object. "Really...they just need wrapped. Please, just help me."

Bea might not be gay, but Allie was, and she had always been a sucker for a pretty girl in distress. Despite Allie's reservations about not taking her to the hospital, Bea should know her own body, so Allie grumbled, "okay."

"Thank you," Bea whispered.

"You won't be thanking me when I put alcohol on those cuts," Allie reminded, then cursed herself for being short with the wounded woman before her.

Bea didn't respond, so Allie resumed taking off Bea's shirt. With Bea's arms only able to go half way up, Allie had to do some wrangling, but she finally managed to get Bea's top off.

Allie refused to look anywhere but at Bea's bloodied face. She would not look at the breasts before her. Bea gave a gentle smile, and said, "I think I can get the rest. If you can step out for a minute..."

"Of course...of course I can."

Allie stepped back quickly, nearly tripping over her own feet. It almost sounded like Bea giggled. Allie couldn't be sure though, so she let it go, pulling the curtain shut behind her. Like a guard dog, Allie stood outside the stall for a good couple minutes before the shower turned on, and steam rose to the ceiling.

It was a few minutes later when a towel clad Bea opened the curtain, with the shower still running behind her. "Can...can you help with my hair?"

"Sure," Allie said, probably a little too eagerly. She hadn't really thought about how Bea couldn't raise her arms to wash those luscious locks.

She tried to remind herself that it is just hair as she stepped into the shower behind Bea once again. "I'm not sure how..."

"It's okay, its just your hair," Allie repeated aloud. Bea sighed, obviously not convinced. "Leave that towel around you. There is another one here," Allie suggested, smiling at the instant relief on Bea's face.

Bea stepped into the shower stream and closed her eyes, letting the water run off her head, down her hair and onto the towel. It might not be the best idea Allie ever had, but it seemed to work.

Allie grabbed the shampoo and conditioner and sat them on the ground by Bea's feet. She then stepped under the shower too and began slowly rinsing Bea's hair.

Bea looked at Allie and gasped, "your clothes!"

"They'll dry," Allie calmly explained, never stopping the massage of Bea's head. When Allie believed all Bea's hair was rinsed, she reached for the shampoo, and repeated the process. By the time Allie was rinsing out the conditioner, Bea was putty in her hands, making noises not of her own volition.

Allie took longer than necessary to stop, not wanting to miss out on any chance she had to help Bea. Before she risked the chance of freaking the adamantly straight woman out, Allie stepped away. "All done. I'll let you finish."

Allie scurried out of the stall, clothes dripping wet from the shower, panties wet from Bea's moans under Allie's fingers. She was screwed, she was so screwed.

A few moments later Bea came out, dressed in sweat pants with her second towel wrapped around her top half, and she pointed behind her. "There is another set of dry clothes."

"Right-o." Allie said. "I'll be right back to clean your cuts." Allie hurried into the stall, dressing like she was a firewoman heading out on a call. She didn't have time to waste. Not when Bea was right there, needing her.

When she finished, she found Bea on the bench, first aid kit open in front of her. "We have everything we need?" Bea jerked and then quickly nodded. "Alright, let's see what we have here." Allie grabbed a stack of paper towels before joining Bea on the bench.

Pouring a generous amount of alcohol on the disposable cloth, Allie took her time, slowly dabbing each cut on Bea's face. Both corners of her mouth, the small cut on her right cheek, then the gash over her right eye, which itself was nearly swollen shut.

Since the mouth heals the fastest, Allie let those go, but put a small band-aid on Bea's sterilized cheek, and a butterfly on her eyebrow. None of those cuts needed stitches; they would heal on their own, in time.

"All done," Allie said cheerfully, though there was nothing cheerful about cleaning up a beat to hell woman.

"Now...just the wrap," Bea squirmed.

Allie didn't blame her. The pressure of cracked ribs being wrapped was almost unbearable, but something had to be done to hold them in place.

"I'll give you enough room to breath. I swear it won't be as bad as a corset..."

"A corset? Really?" Bea teased.

"What? I saw it in a movie. They look like a bitch. I couldn't imagine having to wear a dress anyways, let alone one with that underneath."

"You'd look pretty in a dress," Bea whispered, so lightly that Allie would have missed it if she wasn't hanging on every word.

"Uh...thanks." Allie blushed, not used to such meaningful compliments. The most she usually heard is that she was a hot broad, worthy of a quick fuck.

Allie swore Bea must be at least ten shades darker red than her. Interesting...

Before things could get too awkward, Allie suggested, "Let's get you wrapped, yeah?"

Bea stood, slowly and not very gracefully, and Allie hurried to grab the ace bandage before joining Bea on her feet.

Allie wrapped Bea's ribs as lightly as she dared, knowing it wouldn't work if it wasn't secure enough, but not wanting to cause this woman any more pain. In fact Allie would do anything in her power to make sure Bea would never hurt again, if Bea would just let her. That scared Allie to no end. She had just met Bea, but the woman came with a force that swept Allie away and had yet to let her settle. Maybe Kaz had a point, but before Allie could think too much on it, Bea was thanking her again. "Thanks...I mean...really...thank you...no one has ever..."

"It was my pleasure...truly."

Bea smiled, the first genuine one of the night. "I've never had a gay nurse before."

"Well, I've never had a straight patient. I guess that makes us even." Allie quipped back.

When Bea shifted, in obvious discomfort, Allie came crashing down to Earth. Bea wasn't here for Allie, she was here for help. Despite everything in her screaming to find an excuse to spend more time with this woman, she did what was best for Bea.

"Let's get you to your room, yeah? A good night's rest, and you will be a brand new woman."

One that still wouldn't be Allie's. If straight people always insist that the good ones are married or gay, hows come every time Allie finds a good woman, one that speaks to her on another level, they are always straight? Life's a bitch.


	3. Chapter 3

Bea lay in the bed, stiff as a board, just like the mattress. It had been an hour since Allie had escorted her to this dingy room. Bea wasn't complaining, it was a safe place to stay, she just wasn't bragging either.

What a night. Bea sighed, her mind a mixed bundle of nerves. Never before had she felt so many different things in such a short span of time. Pain, both physical and emotional. Regret as usual, saying yes when Harry asked her for that first date almost twenty years ago for one thing. Relief at finding this place, her shelter in the storm. Annoyance at Kaz's cavalier attitude towards her troubles. Gratitude towards Maude and all the other people out there doing their best for the least of thee.

Then there was Allie. Bea's heart in an obscure rhythm since the moment they first touched. What was it with that woman? Surely it wasn't because she is pretty. Bea had seen pretty girls before, and had never felt anything. Like with Harry, they didn't give a spark, her pilot light remained out.

Then Allie caught her, right before she hit the rock bottom of life, or at least the sidewalk. And Bea felt things, she felt things she didn't understand from then on. Touch finally meant something besides in a maternal way. But she was a mother, a very married mother.

Kaz had called her Allie's girlfriend. Why would she say that? Why would Kaz say Bea would go back to her husband, like it would matter to Allie? Why would it matter to the young and beautiful Allie?

Bea shook her head, trying to dispel the visions of Allie jumping in the shower fully clothed, just to help her. Or the gentle way she cared for Bea's wounds. No one had ever treated her with such genuine care.

A single tear rolled down Bea's cheek. She didn't really cry anymore, promising herself years ago she cried her last tear over that bastard, but tonight she might yet. It didn't matter what she did, she would never truly rid herself of the miserable bastard she had the misfortune of marrying.

Of course she had to go home. It wasn't just her life to live. Debbie was her everything, and she couldn't, she wouldn't, just abandon her. Harry would never let her have custody without a fight, and she was not prepared for such a battle. One day, she promises herself, again.

Bea took stock of her injuries. This time he had gone too far. A rather bad day at work could have cost her her life. Maybe she should actually demand he go back to counseling this time. Proof positive of his rage displayed all over her fragile body, surely that would give her the upper-hand...

Body pushed to exhaustion, mind completely spent, Bea finally crashed and for the first time in almost two decades, she dreamed of happily ever after, rather than the nightmare she had been living. The fact the dream was of a certain blonde, didn't bother her till morning.

Bea woke with the sun. Muscles cramped and bones stiff, she slowly rose from the bed. She really needed to get home before Harry woke up. If she made it, maybe he would believe that she doctored her own wounds and slept in their home. The less he knew the better.

She couldn't risk him coming here. Hurting any of the other women, especially Allie. The young woman deserved so much more than the confused non-offerings of a self-labeled straight woman. I'm not gay had been shot in offense, and the look on Allie's face had told her it hit the mark. No, Allie didn't deserve any of this.

Bea inched down the stairs, still not fully mobile. Since God made men stronger than women, maybe he should have made women's armor stronger to defend against the over-sized monsters that beat them. David might have beat Goliath, but had Goliath hit him, the outcome would have been completely different.

Maude caught her eye, and waited at the bottom of the stairs with a steaming cup of coffee. "You probably need this more than me," she offered.

"You've done too much. I really just need to get home."

"You're really going back to him?" Allie squealed from behind her. Shit. Bea had really hoped to avoid this conversation.

"I have to."

"No, you really don't" Allie advised, putting her hand on Bea's shoulder, her touch possibly becoming more charged over night, though that could be due in part to Bea's overactive brain.

Bea shrugged her off. "You don't understand. My daughter..."

"You said your daughter was on holiday," Allie scoffed.

"Yes, but not forever. I can't lose her. Not to him."

"We'll help you, right, Maude?"

Maude stared at Bea for a moment, then asked, "Who did your hair? The cut and color?"

"Piss off..." Allie scoffed. "Her hair?"

"You better mind your manners, kid, and let her answer the question."

Bea had wondered about that question too, but wasn't going to say so now. "I did...my hair."

"I thought so. We have different programs here for women to get back on their feet. One of them is 'Dress for Success.' It's amazing what a new outfit and a haircut can do to a woman's confidence. Our last stylist moved on. We really need to replace her, as soon as possible. Pay's shit, but its something."

"I...uh..."

"You don't have to answer now. Just think about it, okay, love?"

Bea nodded. It probably wouldn't happen, but why disappoint a woman who has been kind to her? When a rambunctious group of women barreled out of the dining room, led by none other than Kaz, Bea edged towards the door. There's her cue.

"How you getting home?" Allie questioned, concern still lingering on her face.

"Oh, you're not riding Allie?" Kaz taunted, to the pleasure of the laughing hyenas around her.

This time, Bea met Kaz's gaze with her one opened eye. The visual too much for Kaz apparently, who quickly scoffed and walked away.

"I like to walk. It clears my head. Thank you, all, but I really must go."

"Stay..." Allie begged, hands reaching for Bea who ducked away just in time.

"I can't," Bea whispered before walking out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been one week since Bea exited Allie’s life as quickly as she entered it. Allie looked at her watch; actually, six days, eight hours, and 33 minutes, but who was counting? She had thought of little else in that time. It was actually kind of nice to have something to focus on besides counting days of sobriety. Thoughts of Bea almost filled the hole that withdrawal left. It was a pretty big fucking hole.

Everyone talks about how hard the initial onset is. They show it on television and movies, the kicking, screaming, soul clawing hunger that needs to be fed. Addiction knows nothing except its need for more.

What they don’t talk about is the aftermath; the weeks, the months, the years where the want is still there. Your body has bought into the relief it brings. Nothing will ever feel as good. The cravings lessen to near non-existent, but not quite, because the hunger will always be just below the surface.

You turn on the television and someone has a straw up their nose, or a lighter underneath a glass pipe, and you are right there with them, no matter how long its been. Your body is torn between the part that wants that, that will always want that, and the sobriety you have fought so hard to keep. You can taste it, the familiarness coating your tongue and numbing your throat. Your stomach churns; if you shat yourself it wouldn't be the first time. It hits you out of nowhere. Kind of like love.

Allie couldn't really say she loved Bea, they weren't there, but something had happened between them that night, something Allie had never experienced despite the countless sexual encounters she had with women, or men for that matter. Bea made her feel. It was that simple and that complicated.

She had given Kaz hell when Bea left, but her mentor refused to back down. “I told you not to get attached,” is all she really had to say for herself. Easier said than done. What the fuck did Allie do to make herself become hooked? Unlike with the drugs, she did not make an initial conscious decision. You can’t help who you are attracted too, and have even less control over who fate decided to throw into your life.

Fate was funny that way. Allie and the girls had just cleaned up from lunch, and they were walking towards the exit for their after meal smoke. Allie randomly, for no reason at all, looked at her watch and noted it had been six days and nine hours. Then resetting the stopwatch and Allie’s heart, Bea strolled through the door at a much less restricted pace then when Allie had last seen her. However long ago that was. 

Her face had also begun to heal, the cuts on her mouth and cheek near gone, the gash above her eyebrow scabbed over. Her right eye, though open, was still a multicolored display. The reds, blues, and purples blended together, while the outer edges were yellow. She was still breathtaking. 

“Look who the cat drug in,” Kaz greeted, or jeered more like it.

Allie’s eyes met Bea’s, and couldn't help when they trailed down to her lips, which showed the faintest hint of a smile. “I'm just here to talk to Maude.”

“Mm hmm sure,” Kaz snorted, before walking out the door, the girls all behind her, well all except Allie.

“Your face seems to be healing quite nicely. Shouldn't be much scarring, if any.” Allie doubted this woman could look bad, even if she had a face covered in scars. There was something about her that transcended her beauty, this aura. 

While Allie was busy mixing their auras into a rainbow, Bea had begun to shuffle before her. “Thank you...you know...for the other night. No one has ever...”

“Was it as good for you as it was for me?” Allie quipped before she thought about it. Fuck! 

Much to her relief, and pleasure, Bea chuckled. “Yeah, it was a great time. I like to start all my evenings off with a good bashing.” Allie didn't say anything, she couldn't, that shit wasn't funny.

When the silence became too empty, Bea hurried to fill it. “I'm sorry, it’s been a long week.” Not quite. Allie’s stopwatch was on hold. Only when Bea left the building would it start back up at zero. Allie prayed that the next time wouldn't be so far away. She missed Bea already, and the woman was still in front of her. Once again, so, so screwed.

Allie heard shuffling behind her, and turned to face Maude. “I thought I heard your voice, Bea, welcome back.”

“Yeah, I came to see if that job was still open?” 

Maude looked back and forth between Bea and Allie, the faintest hint of mischief in her eyes. That old gal sure knew how to have a good time. She didn't talk much of her past, but Allie had sensed Maude had seen more than any of them ever would. 

“Well, I thought about that. I don’t really know you and haven’t seen you work.”

Bea’s eyes widened, and her mouth formed into a perfect O, which sent Allie’s mind spiraling. Had Bea ever had the big O? Allie had seen the husband’s version of love, she could just imagine his version of sex.

“So, I figured we could start you on a trial basis. If you can do something with the mop on this head...” flipping Allie’s dry, lifeless locks for emphasis, “...then the job is yours.”

Allie’s coaster cart of a heart surged up, only to have Bea send it right back down. “I don’t really have time today, my husband will be home soon, and I have to get dinner on the table. I just needed some details, so I can state my case.”

Allie is not sure what she thought when Bea walked through the door, but going straight home to her husband, the one who didn't deserve her on any fucking level definitely wasn't it. 

Yeah, fuck this. “Hey, Maude, I’m going with Kaz. She said something about going to the market.” 

She stormed past Bea, bumping against her on the way. It wasn't that hard, and she really didn't mean to, but she couldn't bring herself to apologize. Apparently Bea will forgive anything. Cursing herself for even harboring such a horrible thought, Allie flung open the door and slammed it behind her, her shoulder still tingling from their touch. What the fuck was really going on around here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all! So, don't kill me, but I like the buildup in a story. It wont be easy for Bea to just uproot her life, no matter how much it sucks! I can promise you this. Ballie is endgame, always and forever. They will get together, but it will be a while before they get THERE. If you need to read smut, I have oneshots, and so do other people. :) To me, for a story to be realistic, you have to be genuine with the characters. Allie was always in a place where she could be sexual with Bea. With Bea, it obviously took longer...


	5. Chapter 5

Bea looked back and forth between the door and Maude, once, twice, then a third time, before she finally asked, "Did I say something wrong?" It was obvious Allie stomped off, Bea was just racking her brain to try to figure out why.

Maude shook her head and sighed. "You're not the only one with problems, Bea. Allie has her own crosses to bear."

That brought up an excellent point. Bea had been trying to figure out all week why Allie was here. Why the girl who had a beautiful heart lived in a place like this. Who could hurt someone like that? Monsters were all over it seemed. Sometimes the monsters you knew were the scariest of all.

Maude didn't let her dwell for long. "So the job is a couple days a week, you can set the schedule, as long as you keep it. The women really need this, it's good for them. I think it will be good for you too, but I really do insist on a trial and Allie does need something done with her hair, when can you do that?"

Allie, really? "I...I think she's mad at me."

Maude chuckled, "That girl will get over herself. She's got an interview soon, she really needs the help."

How could Bea say no to that, not that she really wanted to. Allie had done so much for her, it was time to repay the favor. "Okay, I should be able to come back tomorrow. I just need to explain it to my husband."

"You can not tell him you come here, Bea. That is very important." Bea gulped, Maude was intimidating, but non-threatening. She never raised her voice, but she spoke with conviction. "The safety of the women here is my top priority, and I will not risk that for you or anyone else. If you are not leaving your husband, you choose to live there, however that may work out for you. These women, Kaz, Allie, and the others, they live here, and I promised them safety. I am a woman of my word. Do we understand each other?"

Bea would never do anything to put Allie in danger, or even Kaz for that matter. There was too much violence in the world, and Bea had seen enough of it. "I don't want him to know about this place either, so what do I tell him?"

"That depends on what you have already told him."

"Nothing-"

"Didn't he ask where you went the other night?"

"No." Maude stared at her. "Well...not really," Bea amended.

"What does that mean?" Maude asked, staring Bea directly in the eyes.

"He did ask where I went. I told him I just walked the block, and waited for him to pass out. Then, I cleaned my wounds and slept on the couch. That was where he found me when he woke up, so he believed me."

"And you're sure of that?" Wow, this woman was intense. She should have been a lawyer, maybe she had been, Bea had no idea, she sure felt on trial though.

"Yes. He has been extra nice ever since. I told him he needs help, and he agreed to counseling. I just don't want him to know about this place." She needed this safety net in case her life went into another freefall.

Maude nodded. "Have you talked to him about getting a job?"

"Not yet, I wanted all the details first. I wanted to have a way to prepare my story." Bea sighed. How many people could say that they had to make up a story to explain a non-criminal or non-sexual job.

"Well, I have a friend that runs an office close by. The secretaries come in and out like a revolving door, no one remembers their faces, and no visitors can enter the building. She has helped women for me in the past, and claimed they worked there. If you can get there at your allotted time, we can get you back there in time for you husband to pick you up. That will keep this place and the girls here safe, but give you a chance to take this job."

Bea nodded, taking it all in. This could work. She needed it to so much, and it seemed like a feasible option for now. If she just saved up enough mad money, she could finally get her and Debbie a place of their own. "Okay, give me the address to this office. I can be there tomorrow at eleven." Thinking twice and knowing she might need some time to sort everything out, she says, "Better make that in two days."

"Eleven?" Maude confirmed. "I think that can work."

Bea smiled, "Thank you. I just...thank you."

"I hope this works out. For all our sake," Maude replied, with a look that said she wasn't so sure it would.

Bea couldn't accept anything but success. This had to work, her and Debbie's future was riding on it. The first step was to make him not suspect anything was amiss. That would begin by being home and having dinner ready today. "I will see you in a couple days then, right? Where do I need to go?" After Maude gave her directions, Bea made her goodbyes, and walked out the door.

Allie was getting into the side door of a maroon work van, and Bea stopped in the doorway, completely enamored. Allie turned back as she went to pull the door shut, and their eyes met, Allie's pretty face downed into a frown. Bea opened her mouth, wanting to say something, anything, but the words couldn't come fast enough, and Allie slammed the door shut with finality, the van pulling away while Bea's mouth remained open.

What was Allie's problem? Could she really be that mad that Bea was going home to her husband? What right did Allie have to pass judgment? And why did Bea care so much what the young woman thought? By the time she made it home, she still hadn't figured it out, but per usual, Allie stayed on her mind.

Bea needed to talk to her, to sort this all out. She didn't want Allie mad at her, she much preferred the gentle smiles, and the hand-holding. Bea shook her head, thoughts like that were not going to help her situation at all, whatever the situation was. Two more days, then maybe they could figure it out, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have been distracted on fb the last couple days, and this is just a filler chapter really, but we are getting there :) More Ballie next chapter for sure!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we go. My mind and free time lol finally cleared enough for me to put the next chapter out. This is my fave so far I think. We are getting somewhere, people! ;) Special shout-out to all my crazy friends on our page...you should know who you are, everyone else does! Lmao Anyone who has been waiting for this, and cussing me for not updating, there are a handful of people to blame for that! lol **

Allie sat behind the wheel of the van, sent on an errand by Maude. She was supposed to meet some woman here and give her a ride to the shelter, which seemed strange since it was really only a few blocks away, but she knew better than to question Maude.

Allie thumped her fingertips against the steering wheel and looked at the clock. It was ten after, she was sure Maude said eleven. As the radio went into another round of commercials, and Allie's patience started to dissipate even further, she jumped when someone knocked on the passenger window before opening the door.

A startled Allie couldn't stop staring, "Bea?" Fucking Maude. The woman refused to tell her anything about the rest of her conversation with Bea, only saying that if Allie wanted to know, maybe she shouldn't have thrown a tantrum like a child. Now, she probably looked like a fish out of water, she sure felt like it.

Bea's eyes were glued to her as well. Entering the van she whispers, "Hi," then looked away, probably not used to the intensity of their gaze. Allie wasn't either, but she couldn't look away.

She finally found her words though, "Maude didn't tell me it was going to be you."

"I'm sorry. I can walk." Bea went to move towards the still open door.

"No!" Bea jerked back towards her. Allie hurried to continue, "I mean...you are already here now. Just shut the door and buckle in!"

Thanks for the heads up, Maude. This isn't awkward at all.

Bea did as Allie suggested, so Allie turned the key. The engine sputtered and died. Great. On the third try it finally began to chug along, and Allie began to back out of her spot, catching Bea staring at her out of the corner of her eye. Allie decided to ignore her, at least for the moment. She didn't drive much and Maude might really bash her if she wrecks their only working vehicle.

"Thanks," Bea whispers as Allie pulls onto the street.

"Right-o," Allie acknowledged, her eyes never leaving the car in front of her. Less than a minute later, she pulled into her designated parking spot, put the van in park, and cut the engine. She hurried out of the van without a second look.

After the first week gap, and the last couple of days, Allie realized Kaz is probably right. There is no use getting attached to a married, "straight" woman. The only way she could think of to stop her new Bea addiction was to go cold turkey. Did they even have rehab for that?

Allie charged through the unmanned door, which was only guarded at night, and tossed the keys at Mel, who was the first person she saw, before taking off up the stairs without a word to anyone. Allie wasn't sure what Bea was doing here, but she was sure they could all figure it out without her.

Approximately five minutes and 37 seconds later, its not like Allie counted, there was a knock on her door. "I'm busy," she shouted, from her bed, curled up in a fetal position, throwing herself a real pity party.

Shuffling feet and what sounded almost like a hand being drug across the door alerted her it wasn't Mel. Mel would have just barged in. It's not like that shit was locked.

A soft thud preceded mumbled stutters. Allie's heart started to race. Bea? 

She soon confirmed it, "Hey...Allie...it's me...me Bea" Allie giggled despite herself. That woman really was too cute, but Allie needed to hold onto being mad a little while longer.

She hardened her face and flung herself off the bed, stomping to the door and cracking it open. "Yeah?" She bellowed. Bea's faced dropped into Allie's stomach. Fuck. She still couldn't back down though. "What's going on? I kind of have things going on," Allie turned around trying to point something out in her room, but nothing stood out. Yeah, that was believable.

She looked at Bea whose eyes were scrunched, yeah she didn't think so. "Maude said-"

"Fucking Maude." Allie didn't realize she said that aloud until Bea's eyes went wide. Allie shook her head and tried to examine her room again mumbling, "Never mind."

Right when Allie was pondering the merits of hiding under her covers, like the child Maude seemed to think she was, Bea explained, "Maude said you need a cut and color...I can...if you have time." Bea looked at Allie's untouched room as well. "Unless you are busy-"

Allie looked down at her favorite tank top, "Um, yeah sure...thanks...let me change, I will be right down." Bea really wanted to do this? Allie wasn't going to object. She was bitter, not stupid.

Bea nodded and backed away without another word. Allie kicked her door shut, and hurried to find an old t-shirt that she wouldn't mind being stained. Her mind moved faster then her body, trying to figure out what was really happening.

She really didn't think Bea would be back, she had resigned herself to losing this one forever to the horrors of straight purgatory. Not that being straight was bad, but being a victim was, no matter who the abuser. The fact that it was a man Bea let treat her this way just cut deeper.

Allie threw her tank top off and the t-shirt on, and rushed out her door and down the stairs. You never know with Bea when she will take off again. Allie found her in the downstairs hallway talking to Maude.

Kaz, Mel and a couple of the other girls weren't too far away from them. "Hey, Allie," Kaz called out, and the girls started to giggle.

Allie shot her a dirty look, and surprisingly enough it worked. Kaz just shook her head, and her eyes said more than what most people would have picked up on. Allie's eyes spoke back. Yeah, Mama, I know, I am screwed. Kaz continued to shake her head, as she led Mel and the other girls into the TV room.

"There's our first victim," Maude teased, and Allie couldn't help but giggle. Maude drove her crazy, never thought to fill anyone else in, and was completely set in her ways, but no one had ever offered her refuge before, nor cared what happened to her before she came here. Plus, Maude really was an amazing woman. If Kaz was her mama, would that make Maude her Grandma? Maybe she should ask the next time Maude angers her. There wasn't that much of an age gap between them, and the thought allowed Allie's giggles to continue. She looked up and they were both still staring at her.

"It can't get much worse," Allie chuckled, flipping her hair at the two women that brought completely different feelings out of her.

Maude joined the laughter wholeheartedly, Bea chuckled and wouldn't hold Allie's gaze. Maybe Maude should stay with them, this is going to be really-

"Well, ladies, the stuff is in the bathroom. Kaz is running the girls and I for errands."

Allie knew a set-up when she saw one, and this whole day she had been at Maude's mercy. She really only wanted to be at Bea's mercy, but that wasn't happening anytime soon. Fuck her life.

She looked into Maude's expectant eyes, oh she was supposed to acknowledge that. Great. "Sounds...good."

Maude's expression didn't change until Allie resumed walking to the bathroom. What did she ever do to Maude anyways? They passed in the hallway and Maude patted her on the shoulder, and walked into the TV room, to gather the girls presumably.

"Right-o," Allie nodded at Bea, hoping she pulled off nonchalance better on the outside then the in.

Bea followed right behind her, and together they walked into the bathroom. Maude had either put a chair up, or convinced someone else to do it, the latter being more likely Allie realized as she walked towards it.

She was half seated, her ass barely on the edge when Bea stops her. "I thought...I thought I could wash your hair first."

Allie's heart thumped against her rib cage as she straightened back out. "Oh...ok," she whispers. Fuck. "Um, where do you want me?"

"Over the sink." Bea said without hesitation, and Allie's entire body tingled. Bea had so much potential, and not a clue.

Allie didn't need to be told twice, she bent over the sink, wiggling her ass as she did so. She was a lesbian, who admired women, fucking loved women, she knew what her best assets were. She peeked a look behind her and smiled when she saw Bea was watching.

Bea took forever to pull herself out of her trance, but when she did so, she came and stood behind Allie, leaning over her to turn the sink on. Allie jumped when the cold water hit her scalp. "What the fuck?" Allie backed out of the sink, her hair forming the perfect fountain, water shooting everywhere.

"I'm sorry," Bea cried out, serious until she looked at Allie, who must have looked every bit the drowned rat she felt, because Bea's laughter echoed through the tiled bathroom. It was the most melodic tune Allie had ever heard, playing her heartstrings, a ballad sure to top the charts.

"Oh, you think that's funny do you?" Allie cupped her hands under the faucet, tossing as much as she could Bea's direction. Their tense last few interactions forgotten in one moment of silliness. Bea came towards her, pushing Allie's hands away to have control of the water.

When more of Allie was wet than just her panties, and even more water was on the floor then them Allie held her hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay, I give."

When the chuckles died away, and they were still smiling at each other, Bea stated the obvious. "I probably should have got the water ready first."

"No, it's cool...really." Allie could feel her smile grow. She couldn't help it, God they needed this.

Bea half chuckled then turned back towards the faucet, putting her long fingers under the water, and retesting it until she apparently found the right temp. When she pulled her hand back, water dripped from those fuckable fingers and Allie had to clamp her thighs together. She was so gay, and needed laid something fierce. Once again, fuck her life.

Bea drew her back in, "Ok, I'm ready for you."

No, you are really not.

The tingles were of a different sort when Bea's long fingers dug into her scalp. God, that felt so good. What would it be like when Allie was on her knees, with Bea's hands doing the same thing. Fuck having your hair washed, Allie needed a cold shower, STAT.

Too soon it was over, and Bea threw a towel over Allie's head, and guided her towards the chair. Bea cut a couple inches and the dead off, giving Allie more of a bob than a mop. It felt good. This all felt good, too good probably.

When Allie had foil and chemicals on her head, and was effectively trapped, Bea broke the ice on their heated problem. "Can I ask you something...the other day...what was that about?"

"I...uh...honestly?"

"I want nothing less," Bea encouraged.

Ok, cliff notes version it is. "You deserve better than him."

Apparently years of denial were hard to break. "You don't know him, you-"

"I found out all I needed to the night we met."

Bea didn't have anything to say for a minute, and Allie didn't think she was going to address that night until she whispered, "It wasn't always like this. The grog-"

"No excuses, Bea. There is no excuse to do that to a woman, to any person really, except people like him or worse. I would kill him before I let him hurt you on my watch."

Bea gasped and wiped her misty eyes. Fuck, Allie didn't mean to make her cry. She only ever wanted to make Bea feel good.

"Why do you care?"

God, that could be answered so many ways. Allie decided to go with closest to the truth. "There's something about you, something I can't shake."

That didn't seem to help. Bea's tears came faster. "I told you I'm not gay."

"I told you I don't care what you are. Even if we are never more than friends, I want so much more for you. You deserve to be treated like a Queen. Queen Bea suits you, don't you think?"

Bea giggled, wiping hopefully the last of her tears from her eyes, and voice husky from emotions on overboard asked "Does that make you my loyal subject?"

"I think so, you are stuck with me now."

They both smiled, and Allie knew that she at least felt better, the air somewhat cleared. One step at a time, you can't force someone who has been damn near destroyed into their peaceful destiny, no matter how much they seemed to enjoy the attention.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here is a filler chapter cliffhanger ;) I will have more soon...**

Bea sat, sunk into the couch, knees touching Allie’s, the young girl asleep on her shoulder. They had all sat together, Maude and Kaz included to watch a matinee. Bea and Allie sat together out of necessity and Bea was not complaining.

It had been two weeks since Bea had been an undercover stylist. Almost a month since they met. What a month it had been, the last couple weeks especially. Bea had only grown closer to the young blonde, with every conversation.

They talked about the weather, the bloody heat. They had shared stories of their pasts, the good, the bad and for both, mostly ugly. Except Debbie. Debbie was the most beautiful thing in her world.

Allie was beautiful as well, on the inside as much as the out. Maybe more. Every look, every “accidental” brushing of their hands sparked things inside Bea she didn't know existed. Well, she had seen things on the telly, but she thought it was as real as reality TV. Then along came Allie.

Whenever she wasn't cutting hair, or talking life and love with the other women, she was spending time with Allie. Each moment more intense than the one before it. Which is why she still sat, long after the movie had ended and Allie’s light snores tickled her senses. How could even snoring be cute?

She was almost asleep herself when Maude startled her. “Bea, what are you doing here so late? Isn't your husband home tonight?”

Bea jerked up, waking Allie in the process, who mumbled, something sweet probably. “What time is it?”

“Almost five, love.”

Bea shot up, “I got to go. He’s going to be pissed, yeah?”

“Just stay here,” Allie stated, like that wasn't the obvious choice if Bea only could.

“I cant yet.” When Allie snorted in disgust, Bea didn't let her begin. “I cant leave him until i can get custody of her. I cant fight him.”

“We can fight this. Right, Maude?” Allie plead, trying to gain support for her cause. 

Bea had the same cause, just a different approach. Harry knew the system, he had friends in high places, at least higher than Bea did. “It’s not the right time.”

“Piss off. The right time? When will the right time be, when he bloody kills ya? Do you even want to leave him? Or are you going to let him bury you?”

That cut right into Bea’s soul. “Fuck, Allie, I cant do this with you right now. I got to get home.”

“Yeah, you go be the beaten fucking housewife.”

Allie was up the stairs and gone before Bea made it to the front door. Bea looked back at Maude. “Take care of her, please?”

“Bloody hell, I’m taking you home, you are going to need the ride, you are already late.”

“Thanks, Maude. One day I will pay-”

“You dent have to pay me anything, love. I just need you to be healthy, to fight for yourself and your daughter.” Maude explained as they walked to the van.

“Everything i do is for my daughter.” When Maude didn't respond, just started the van and backed out, Bea’s temperature began to rise. “I fight for my daughter.”

“Do you really? Is allowing yourself to be a victim really fighting for her? What happens when hitting you is not enough?”

“He would never!” They would have lived on the streets before she let Harry hurt Debbie, but since he didn't, it is amazing and heartbreaking what a mother will go through to provide for her child. Her offspring, her flesh and blood. 

“When you met him, did you think he would hit you?”

“No, of course not, but-”

“But nothing, love. Once someone resorts to violence, they are capable of resorting to violence. Tread with caution after that.”

Bea didn't say anything else except to give her address to Maude, who didn't speak again until they neared their destination. “Are you sure you really want to do this? You don't have to you know. I know people, there were plenty of witnesses who saw your condition.

“How could I prove it’s Harry? No one has ever seen him hit me. That is what the lawyer said that I called after the second time.”

“Really? Some rat bastard told you that? There is plenty of evidence you don't leave the house, well at least you didn't. Someone could have saved you, we can still save you.”

Bea’s heart clenched, but she had a plan, and ambushing Harry was not it. She needed this to be as amicable as possible if she ever hoped to share parenting with this man. Debbie loved her father, had no reason not to. “I can’t, Maude. Just give Allie a hug for me, okay?”

“Are you sure?” Maude pulled in front of the brownstone. 

“No, but I have to be. I have to give him a chance to do this right.”

“He doesn't deserve another chance. He lost that the first time he hit you.”

Bea flung the passenger door open. She couldn't listen to this anymore. Maude made too much sense, and Bea couldn't waver. Not when it came to Debbie. 

No one was going to give custody to a woman without a place to raise her child, and Bea would die before Debbie went to Harry alone. There was no proof her attacker was Harry. He had stuck to places Debbie couldn’t see when their daughter was home. It was only with Debbie gone that he had become less cautious with his attacks. 

She took a deep breath, and looked back at Maude. “I got to go.”

Bea took big steps at first to get away from Maude’s disappointed eyes, then smaller ones the closer to the front door she got. She took one last deep breath before grabbing the door knob. Twisting it and pushing the door open, she barely saw the fist before impact. Then all went black.


	8. Chapter 8

Allie paced the second floor, up and down the hallway, into her room and out. It took about an hour and a half before she finally settled on; fuck Bea, fuck Harry, fuck this whole situation. This is why you don't fall for someone who is emotionally unavailable, but yet Allie had fell, so hard.

Like love often does, it struck without warning. One day you are talking to an amazing woman that you think of as your friend, the next you realize this woman is so much more than that. Your future begins to shape up in ways you never even dreamed. If you are lucky, your new dreams become a reality. Most people aren't that lucky. Allie never has been.

Allie, tired of the torturous roller coaster of her life, flopped on her bed and threw the covers over her head. She was hell bent on drowning out the world when Maude came flying through the door.

"Allie, get up!"

"Go away, Maude," Allie groaned, burying herself deeper in the covers.

"I said get your arse up, child." Maude grabbed the blanket and yanked, pulling Allie up with it.

"I don't-"

"They took Bea to the hospital."

Just like that, Allie's resistance was gone. She flung the rest of the covers off, and jumped out of bed. "Why didn't you say so? What did that fucker do, now? I will fucking kill him. I told her not to go back...I...told...her" Allie's rant lost steam when she choked on her words, the pressure in her chest suffocating, the pressure in her ears deafening.

When she broke down in sobs, she allowed Maude to comfort her for just a minute, before she jumped back and insisted, "Let's go."

Maude agreed without a word, and was out the door before Allie slid her feet into her sandals. Allie chased after her, neither stopping to acknowledge the girls until Kaz said, "I'm praying for her."

Allie met Kaz's eyes and felt the sincerity there. In this moment Bea wasn't a threat to Allie, she was again a victim of domestic violence. A woman at the mercy of a bastard who did not deserve the strength God gave him. Not that the fact he was a man was a reason for the twisted show of power. Allie had friends who were also victims of their lesbian lovers. Anytime the power struggles exist outside the bedroom, there is a potential for violence. It happens all too often. It obviously shouldn't.

They were buckled in the van and Maude was roaring down the street before Allie realized she didn't have any details.

"What happened? Was that bastard there when you dropped her off? I swear I will bash that worthless fucker. I can't-"

"Are you going to let me answer, love?" Maude gently questioned, reminding Allie once again she needed the details.

Allie could only nod, silenced, at least for the moment.

"I dropped her off, then left when she opened the door without a look back." That fact hit Allie hard. Bea didn't even once regret going back to hell, when Allie wanted to offer her heaven?

Maude continued, "I don't know exactly what happened after that, Allie. I came back here and was cooking dinner when I got a phone call from an old paramedic friend of mine. He said a bloodied woman stumbled out of a house, scared the piss out of a family walking down the sidewalk. They called for help, and stayed with her until the paramedics came."

"How do you know it was her?" Maybe it wasn't, there was still a chance that she was at home with that bastard, and safe right? She sounded desperate she realized as the thought crossed her mind, yet she clung to hope until,

"I just knew, Allie. This feeling in my gut, pulsing into my chest. I just knew. So I asked him the address."

Allie closed her eyes and dropped her head between her legs, her breaths short and ragged, the attack coming on, despite her best efforts to control it. She felt Bea to her soul, and any attack on the keeper of her heart, might as well have been an attack on Allie.

Allie felt the car begin to decelerate as Maude asked, "Are you going to be okay, Allie?" What a loaded question, one she couldn't answer. The next one she could "Do you need me to pull over?"

Allie adamantly shook her head no. She didn't need to pull over, she needed to see Bea. Knowing her future was okay, would be the only thing to calm her troubled self.

Maude must have understood, because the car once again accelerated and they continued towards the hospital. Once they reached their destination, Maude had barely slowed to enter the parking garage, and Allie had her door flung open.

"Jesus, Allie, give me a minute. I am not sure they are going to let us see her, we are not family."

Allie let the yet, simmer in her mind, but did shut her door.

Once she found Bea, she was never letting her out of her sight again. If something happened to this woman, Allie would surely die from heartbreak, if the way she currently felt was any indication.

"Let me do the talking," Maude advised once she had found a parking spot and they were jogging towards the door. Allie would have ran faster, but Maude's old knees surely couldn't keep up. Without Maude there to stop her, it's hard telling what damage Allie's broken filter would cause. Like that country song, her give a damn was busted.

Once they reached the information desk and Maude began her spiel, Allie tuned out and began looking for signs of Bea. If she could just get through the doors before her, maybe she could find Bea's room on her own. She had the idea half plotted out, when Maude tapped her shoulder.

"Let's go see your cousin."

Allie barely stopped herself from asking who her cousin was. She definitely didn't feel a familial connection to the beaten woman she was here to see, but it's not like she could claim she was the wife, not yet anyways. Life goals.

The woman from the front desk escorted them into the emergency department, where men and women in various colored scrubs bustled around. Allie could have guessed which one was Bea's curtain by the armed officers outside of it. Now they care what happens to her? If the system wasn't so fucked, someone would have protected her before...before she was bashed.

The graying screw addressed Maude. "Is this girl one of yours?"

"Something like that," Maude agreed with a sullen look. It's not like any of them could be proud of the way they handled this situation.

"I'm not so sure she is up for visitors. She really took a beating."

Maude and both officers looked up when Allie gasped and then started to choke.

"Is this one going to be okay?" the younger screw asked Maude, nodding in Allie's direction as if she couldn't answer for herself.

"They are close," Maude said in way of explanation, gesturing between Allie and the curtain separating her and Bea.

The graying screw asked, "Well, I think I can allow one visitor at a time. Which one of you should it be?"

Allie loved Maude, but she would cut a bitch to get to Bea. Maude either sensed that or would have picked Allie anyways. Either way, she said, "She can go. I will just keep you company," with a little giggle that Allie would have called her out on, if the situation wasn't so dire. Was Maude flirting?

Allie could figure that out later, she had more pressing matters, like flinging the curtain open. When she looked at the bed, nothing could have prepared her for the scene before her. Like something off Grey's Anatomy, but with her whole life at stake.

Bea's head was covered in gauze, her entire face one giant bruise, like a large grape on top of her shoulders. Her left leg was in traction, and her right arm had a cast. Tubes ran everywhere, and a machine was monitoring her vitals, each beep blaring into Allie's ears, and jarring her heart.

The tears were pouring from the first look, and soon all Allie saw was a blur, and she hurried to clear her eyes. She needed to see Bea, and when Bea woke, she needed to see Allie be strong.

Allie's internal pep talk did not help, the tears continued to wash down her face, the pain too much to be held in. Her sobs echoed off the tile floors as she stepped towards the bed. She stopped dead in her tracks when Bea whispered, "don't...don't cry...Allie."

"Oh, Bea," Allie choked, overcome with relief, yet still sobbing from her fears. "Thank God, you're awake."

"Yeah," Bea whispers.

Allie grabs one of the two visitor chairs, and slides it towards Bea's bed, before plopping in it. She eyed Bea's free hand, and inched her own towards it, before backing off. Bea was broken enough, Allie didn't want to cause the woman she loved anymore pain.

"Can...touch," Bea chokes out, warming Allie's heart.

Allie reached out and stroked Bea's left hand, before gently taking it in hers.

"How...here?" Bea spoke with much effort, and Allie let go to grab a glass of what looked like water off the rolling table, and guided the straw towards Bea's mouth. Dry mouth is no joke in the hospital.

As Bea sipped, Allie answered her questions. "Maude got the call, we came as fast as we could."

"I'm sorry," Bea whispered. "Should have listened."

"Oh, love, you have nothing to be sorry for." Allie grabbed Bea's hand again.

Bea's eyes fluttered, and Allie knew she had to be exhausted, so she said the only thing she could think of. "Go ahead and rest, love. I will be here when you wake."

"Promise?" Bea questioned in the smallest voice Allie ever heard.

"I do," answered Allie, hopefully not for the last time. As Bea drifted off to sleep, the uneasy rest of the beaten and downtrodden, Allie said a little prayer. Thanking whoever it was that kept this woman alive. The only way to go from here was forward, and Allie would lay her own life down before anyone ever hurt Bea again. These wounds would heal and so would they.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I know I have became one of those people who have been gone forever. I swear I haven't forgotten about you guys or this story. My life has changed so so much from the time I started this. I have healed from a long term illness, I have fallen in love and am in the process of moving across the country. I don't have quite the time I did before, but I will legit try not to make the next chapter so far away. #BALLIE4LIFE

Beep...Ding...Beep...Ding. 

The noises were constant as Bea woke. The struggle was real to try to open her eyes, so she gave up for a moment. Her brain was fuzzier than her vision. What the hell happened? Why did she feel like the weight of the world was on top of her? And like her eyes were glued shut? The last thing she remembered was being at the shelter, cuddled up next to Allie on the couch. 

As she thought of Allie, she swore she heard her voice. “I’m not leaving her side, Maude. I promised her I would be here when she woke.”

Allie had promised her that? Why would she say that? Bea must be dreaming. None of this made any sense to her. 

“That was last night, she hasn't woke since, not even when they moved her to this room. The doctors said she might not for a while.”

“She’s not in a fucking coma. She was awake. She talked to me.” Bea tried again to open her eyes. Coma? Or some fucked up dream?

“Her body went through a traumatic event.”

“Just say what really happened, Maude. That fucker damn near killed her. Have they found him yet? Has anyone told her daughter? Has anyone told Debbie?”

“De...bb...ie” Bea choked as her eyelids barely opened. It was enough for her eyes to dart around the room and confirm that the conversation she overheard was happening, and not a dream. No surprise Harry was the reason behind her inability to move freely. 

“Shh, it’s okay, love,” Allie soothed and she rushed to stand before Bea, whose hooded eyes flew open when she took note of all the casts and tubes. The sudden intensity of the bright lights shot pain through Bea’s head and she slammed her eyes closed.

“De...bb...ie-” Bea choked again, her mouth impossibly dry.

“-Is fine. She is still on holiday,” Maude advised. “Her friends parents have been notified in case he shows up unannounced, but that seems very unlikely. He has went underground, but he will resurface. All rats do.”

Bea’s relief was tangible. She didn't as much care what happened to her, as long as Debbie remained safe. Her daughter was and would always be her top priority.

“Dri-” she started to say, before she felt the bed shift and something brush her lips. She jerked at the sudden space intrusion. Her eyes cracked open again and she saw the straw Allie presented her. She gave her heart a moment to settle. She was jumpy as fuck. She might always be. Call it battered woman syndrome. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Or as Bea called it, her fucked up life.

Bea closed her eyes again before opening her mouth and taking the much needed sips. Once she could actually swallow, she asked, “What happened?”

“Do you remember anything, love?” Maude asked.

Bea struggled to remember. Try as she might, she couldn't see past her couch time with Allie. Though Allie promising her she would be there when she woke was starting to sound really familiar.   
She knew what Maude meant though. She knew Maude was talking about what it was that sent her here. Harry’s inability to quit being an abusive fuck. “No,” she finally whispered, sure in the fact that whatever happened was lost on her.

“Really?” Allie squeaked. 

Before Bea had a chance to answer, there were three taps on what Bea presumed was the door, when a gravely voice questioned, “How did I know you would be here, Miss Maude?”

Bea dared to open her eyes enough to see two women, one about Maude’s age in a business suit with a badge on her hip. Must be a detective, Bea thought, before turning her focus on the other, a woman closer to her own age, with kind eyes and a clipboard.

Her sudden pain increase with her eyes forced open must have been apparent, because kind eyes questioned, “Are you feeling okay, love? Do you need to see a doctor before we begin?”

“You are a doctor, Bridget,” Allie giggled, almost flirtatiously. Bea didn't really like that, not one little bit.

“I'm a psych, Allie, big difference.” 

“I’m not crazy,” Bea insisted, years of Harry’s mental abuse rearing its ugly head.

“Of course not, ba-Bea,” Allie hurried to correct herself. “No one is saying you are.”

Bea lost focus, stuck on Allie’s misstep. Was Allie really about to call her baby? Why did that make her feel so good? She was a grown woman who had never been anyone’s baby. Why does this young beautiful girl care so much? What would Bea ever have to offer her? She was a broken spirit inside a shattered body. She couldn't even save herself, barely managed to hold on for her daughter, how could she ever be what Allie needed? 

Bea’s internal ramblings made her start to hyperventilate. Maybe she was crazy. Surely Allie would see that sooner rather than later, and not want anything to do with her. Her uneven breathing got louder, even when Bridget tried to soothe, “It’s okay, Bea. Take deep breaths. Focus on me.”

She did not regain control of her breathing until Allie grabbed her uninjured hand, and said, “Bea, listen. We got you, okay? Nothing is going to happen to you under my watch. I will kill anyone who tries to mess with you, I swear it.”

The detective clearing her throat reminded Bea it was not time to swoon. Then Maude made her laugh despite herself and her situation when she advised, “Allie, you aren’t scary at all. You’re like a pussy cat.”

“I can give a good bashing. I came from the streets, from the back alleys.”

“So you are an AllieCat then?” Bea teased. Laughter was the best medicine after all, and she laughed with the other women until her ribs reminded her where she was and why. Her gasp, and not a pleasant one, drew the room’s attention.  
The detective quickly jumped to business. “We won’t keep you long, Bea. I am Detective Jones, conducting the investigation into what happened last night. I just have a couple questions. Your answers will hopefully give us the insight we need in order to find the perp. Ms. Westfall will stay on your behalf. As this matter is still under investigation, everyone else must leave.”

Allie started to groan, and Bea squeezed her hand. “It’s okay, Allie. I have to do this. You can come back in just a minute.”

“Actually I think visiting hours are just about over,” Bridget advised. When Bea took all the energy and stretched her limited mobility to spin towards her, and Allie started to swear, Bridget hurried to continue, “But I will see what I can do. I'm sure they can make an exception for you, Allie.”

Bea didn't doubt it. Allie was definitely her exception to everything. Her light in the darkness. Her calm in the storm. Her beauty in the ugliness of the world. She was still thinking of all the ways Allie was her exception after Allie squeezed her hand and kissed the top of her head. The tingles didn't stop till long after the room had cleared and she was left to explain the unexplainable. Why a man would set out to destroy a woman he claimed he loved.

Bea knew love. What she had for Debbie was love in its purest form. She had never otherwise experienced it in her life. Than Allie came along, and suddenly everything had changed.


	10. Chapter 10

Almost 68 hours after Bea left the shelter, Allie paced the hall using Bea's crutches to swing herself back and forth in front of Bea's door, not so patiently waiting for Maude who should have been there by now, and for Bea herself.

Bea had been on the other side of the closed door for about 15 minutes with that sleazy doctor of hers; Dr. Will fucking Jackson. Tall, dark and handsome enough, his smug face and cocky demeanor got under Allie's skin. She especially didn't like the way he spoke to her Bea. Fucking unprofessional to flirt with your patient. Went against a whole lot of ethics standards, Allie was sure of it.

She realized she was jealous, and though she understood she still really didn't have the right to be, that knowledge didn't stop, couldn't stop, those feelings from surfacing. She wanted Bea to be hers. Hers to protect, to love, and to cherish for the rest of their lives. No one else could as much, of this Allie was sure.

When the door suddenly opened, Allie stumbled off the crutches and barely caught herself from face-planting, much to the amusement of fucking Jackson who started to laugh. Fucking men.

Conversely, Bea stared wide eyed from a wheelchair, while Jackson moved behind her and grabbed the handles. Bea hurried to ask, "Are you okay, AllieCat?"

"Of course. Just pissing around." Allie's cheeks were warm, too warm. Why was she always doing something stupid in front of this woman? And now in front of Rico Suave too? Of fucking course.

"I can take her from here, doctor," a young aide offered.

"That is not necessary, Jodi, I would like to discuss the follow up visits with Ms. Bea."

Allie's eyes might have hit the back of her head as they walked to the elevator, with her carrying Bea's crutches. Really with this motherfucker? What kind of doctor walks their patient out themselves? What kind of doctor doesn't use a receptionist to schedule appointments? One that had the hots for their patients, that's who.

Where the fuck was Maude anyways? Shouldn't she be here by now? Just when Allie was starting to really cuss her mentor, the elevator opened and Maude flew out, smiling back and forth between the women and winking at the stupid doctor before she settled her eyes on Bea. Allie got it, she always settled her eyes on Bea too.

"Sorry, I got a little held up. Are you ready to get out of here, Bea? I'm double parked, we probably better hurry."

"Of course," Bea answered with no hesitation as the group stepped into the elevator Maude had just vacated, fucking Jackson right in the thick of it, his hands still on Bea's chair.

Allie shrugged off the thought of her hands around Jackson's neck and cooed, "home is waiting for you, Bea," before glaring at Jackson once Bea's attention was back onto Maude. Allie could have been seeing things, but she swore Jackson glared back. He really didn't want to start with her. Allie was fresh out of patience for men who stuck their nose where it didn't belong. For men who just assumed that the women of the world would fall at their feet. Men like this Dr. Jackson, or even worse men like Harry Smith.

She may not have lost the look on her face soon enough, because Bea caught her eye and kept it. The elevator was silent except for the small talk that Maude made with the good doctor. Allie couldn't be fucked to listen. She kept smiling at Bea who continued to stare as if Allie was a book Bea was trying to understand by reading the cover. Like most women, Allie was much deeper than that. She also had years of experience hiding her emotions just below the surface. She could pretend she wasn't crazy jealous. Bea had just escaped one psycho, Allie didn't intend to be the next.

As the elevator opened on the ground floor, Maude hurried the group along. They exited the building and reached the van just in time to see a tow truck backing up, its loud beeps blaring into the still afternoon.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Maude yells at the driver, who nodded his head in acknowledgment but did not stop. He jumped out of his truck and hurried to connect the van.

"Piss off. I cant afford this shit," Maude argued.

"Sorry, ma'am just doing my job." The driver at least had the decency to sound ashamed.

Not good enough. "She's doing hers too," Allie shot, running towards the driver. Her breaking point exploding as she yelled, "Who else is going to protect women from bastards like you? You want us to be stranded so you can take advantage is that it? Screw us, without lube? You wouldn't be the first."

The chubby balding driver with a chipped front tooth stuck his arms out in front of himself. "Look, lady, don't go crazy on me. Your friend is double parked, in front of a hospital. In an emergency only section. There is nothing I can do."

Jackson, King of the Good Ole Boys Club stepped forward and reached into his pocket for his wallet. "How much to make this go away, mate?"

"I already started the paperwork-"

"How much, mate?"

"Hundred and I was never here."

"That can still be arranged," Allie muttered as the money exchanged hands. Maude glared, and Bea choked on a giggle.

"Or maybe this one could come home with me, and we can call it even. I can teach her how a real lady would behave."

"It couldn't hurt," Jackson agreed as the men erupted into laughter.

"Piss off then! You fuckers wish you could have some of this," Allie screamed.

Maude, calm and collected as always gently encouraged, "Come on Allie, lets help Bea up."

Bea's head, hung low since the confrontation turned sour, lifted herself into Maude and Allie's arms. Surprising them all, she called from the back seat, "Dr. Jackson? I won't be seeing you for my follow up. I'd prefer a woman."

"I bet you would, fucking dyke. Women, they never appreciate anything-" the driver's rant finally shut out as the women finished entering the vehicle and closed all the doors behind them.

Once the three women were buckled in, and pulling out of the parking lot, Maude began to giggle, which was soon contagious.

"Fucking men," Maude said while shaking her head.

"No thanks," Allie quipped, and the women's giggles turned into a full-blown roar, the tenseness melting away as Bea reached for Allie's hand and squeezed.

"I could really use a nap when we get back, but when I wake up, do you think we could talk?"

"Of course," Allie whispered. "Whatever you need, I got you." The scary thing was, Allie knew she meant it. Whatever it was that Bea needed, Allie would be there. Laws and morality be damned.


	11. Chapter 11

Bea’s breasts were pressed firmly against Allie’s back, hard nipples poking soft skin. She braced herself against Allie’s top half as the rest of her body worked to pin all of Allie against the tiled shower wall. Heat from the shower contrasting against the cold air of the open room. That wasn't the reason chills raced up Bea’s arms. 

Her heart thumped rapidly as she groaned in Allie’s ear, “Do you want me to bash you?” 

The lip grazing was accidental, and Allie used it to her advantage as she sucked in a ragged breath and husked back, “Is this making you wet?”

Bea was too shocked to answer aloud, not able or willing to confirm Allie’s question.The throbbing between Bea’s thighs intensified as Allie’s question answered itself, though surely Allie couldn't know that. Of course it was making her wet, having the tantalizing, sexually sure Allie at her mercy. Who wouldn't be turned on, full on naked, pressed against a beautiful woman. All women were straight until wet she had heard somewhere. Probably in one of those trash mags that her husband had tried to forbid her from reading. The ones that said sexuality was fluid, and that women everywhere were getting in touch with their own womanhood, literally.

How many nights had Bea lain awake, long after Harry had fallen asleep, hands pressed firmly between her legs, trying to feel something, anything at all. It never worked. 

Yet here in this moment, as she dominated the woman before her who oozed sex, she finally felt alive. Her body sparked somewhere deep inside and flames were shooting through her veins. Culminating in her vagina pulsating as Allie turned and dropped to her knees to further submit herself. Allie reached out for Bea, hands inching closer. 

On instinct Bea slapped them away and beginning to spin out. Jerking back, she spat, “what the fuck?” as she watched the water drip down Allie’s face, her chest, and across her womanhood, completely mesmerized.

“You know you want this,” Allie cooed from below her, not one to miss a beat. “I see the way you look at me, like you want to know just what I can do with my mouth.”

“The only thing I want to do to your mouth is smack you in it,” Bea argued, yet still unable to back away any further from this feisty young woman.

“Or let me fuck you with it,” Allie insisted, crawling forward, almost there now.

Bea’s heart beat rapidly and her stomach clenched. Somehow she managed to ask,“Why would I want you to fuck me at all?”

“I swear I can make you come like no one ever has, please let me prove it. I want you to come in my mouth again and-”

“Just shut up,” Bea demanded, though having felt more in these moments than she ever had in her life, she was losing her resistance, and it must have showed.

“Please, let me fuck yo-”

“I said shut up,” Bea moaned, pulling Allie’s head forward by her hair, fingernails digging into Allie’s scalp. She thrust against Allie’s pretty little cocky mouth, effectively shutting Allie up herself.

Bea did not loosen her grip, even as Allie’s skilled tongue began to lap at her clit. Firm, focused strokes drawing noises from Bea she didn't know possible. The stickiness coating her was new too. She had never been so wet, not even on those nights she tried to prove to herself she wasn't broken and that it wasn't her fault that sex wasn't ever really her thing.

Allie’s fingers circled Bea’s most private of spaces, then she gently slid one finger in. With Bea not quite filled, Allie slid out before thrusting back in, this time with her pointer and middle fingers. Allie quickly found her rhythm, pounding into Bea as quickly as her tongue moved in Bea’s slit. Soon, too soon, Bea’s entire body began to quiver and her knees buckled. The moans coming from her were needy, animalistic in nature. Just as she felt she was going to explode, her whole body began to shake.

“Bea...Bea...Bea,” a distant voice rang out. It sounded an awful lot like Allie, which didn't make sense, Allie was right there on her knees, like the good little submissive bitch she was. 

“Oh Allie,” Bea moaned, unable to resist the pretty girls name on her lips. Soon she would have the girl herself on her lips. She wanted, no needed, to taste Allie too. She needed to be the one to bring Allie as much pleasure as this sexual goddess brought her. Goddess? Yeah, she was so screwed.

“Bea! Wake up!” The voice damn near shouted, jarring Bea and sending her right back into her bed at the shelter.

“Wait...what...what the fuck?” Bea sputtered as she tried to sit up, unable to move too fast with all the casts adorning her broken bones. 

“You’re okay,” Allie soothed, placing her hands gently onto Bea’s shoulders, in stark contrast to the way Bea handled Allie in her apparent dream. “I'm here, I'm here.” Allie continued, her wide eyes never leaving Bea’s. “I didn't want to wake you, but you were tossing and turning so much, I was afraid you would hurt yourself. Must have been one hell of a dream, you were moaning pretty loud.”

Fuck? Really? Bea could feel her face heat up, even surpassing the warmth between her legs. “Yeah, just a crazy dream-” 

“Are you sure you are alright?” Allie asked, concern etched into her delicate features. Bea much preferred the gentle smiles that usually adorned Allie’s face.

“Yeah...yeah, of course. I just need a minute to acclimate.” More like calm her raging libido. Thank God she wasn't born a dude. She wouldn't have been able to hide her excitement. Talk about a wet dream.

“Is there anything I can get for you? Something to eat? Maybe a glass of water? It’s not quite time to take your pain pills yet, Maude will bring them when it is.” Without giving Bea time to answer, Allie rushed to say, “Maybe I should let you get some more rest.”

“No!” Bea’s objection rang into the silent room. “I'm awake now. You think you can get me a glass of water and then maybe sit with me?”

“You want to talk to me so bad...you miss my charming self that much, you have to scream about it?” Allie questioned with a giggle.

“Something like that, smart-ass. You know, you shouldn't make fun of the handicapped. I'm at a disadvantage here.”

“I won’t take advantage,” Allie winked. “I’ll wait till your 100%, and you still wont know what hit you.” Before Bea could even begin to come up with a reply, Allie was scurrying out the door mumbling something about a drink.

After the dream Bea had, and the talk she wanted to have, she wasn't so sure Allie wouldn't be the one left speechless.


	12. Chapter 12

Allie bee-bopped down the dark hallway back to Bea’s room with her mind on what Bea could possibly want to talk about, and a plastic cup of water in each hand. The liquid sloshed around the cups as she crossed the threshold.

“When did you know you were gay?” Bea damn near shouted.

“Wh…a…t?” Allie jumped, causing one of the cups of water to slip from her hand and hit the floor. She scrambled to keep the other upright as she scurried towards Bea. Allie handed her the remaining glass, then quickly mumbled, “I need to get a towel to dry that up.”

Bea took a drink and then placed the glass on her nightstand. Allie had just turned to leave when Bea reached out and grabbed Allie with her good hand. Allie gasped, and not because once again Bea shocked her.

“It’s just water. It will dry, butter fingers,” Bea teased.

“Don’t make fun, you startled me,” Allie justified, unable to raise her head to look at Bea. Her head must have weighed a hundred pounds in that moment.

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I just had to ask before I lost my nerve. And then you didn’t even hear- ”

“I heard you, you just caught me of guard.” Allie mumbled. Why did Bea have to have such an effect on her? Allie didn’t know, and since she was unable to even look the older woman in the eye, she had to collect herself, elsewhere. “I really ought to dry this up. If it leaves a water stain, Maude will whoop us both,” Allie insisted, before hightailing it out the door. 

Allie didn’t really think the water would stain, but damn she needed to get her thoughts in order. Why would Bea ask her that? Why now, after all the time they have known each other? How would her answer affect Bea? Would it affect Bea? 

Too soon, Allie had retrieved the towel and was returning to Bea’s room. Her mind was still jumbled, but she knew she had wasted enough time. She didn’t want Bea to realize just how awkward she really was.

Once she reentered Bea’s room, Allie dropped to her knees before Bea as she had dreamed of a million times. She soaked up the water and tossed the sopping towel out into the hall. She would worry about that later.

“So…” Bea prompted, apparently eager for Allie’s answer.

“So?” Allie questioned, not as eager to give it. 

Bea just stared as Allie slowly stood up, her knees popping as if she were much older. Allie stared back. Oh, we are really doing this, huh? Allie asked with her eyes, and Bea confirmed without saying another word. She just patted the bed beside her, offering Allie a seat.

Allie glad took it, she would need the support to get through this. She took a deep breath and then began, “I was in my late teens I imagine…” She looked at Bea, needing the reassurance like she needed oxygen. Bea nodded at her to continue, and Allie sighed before doing so. “When I was younger, I had dated a few boys, and never felt that spark, ya know?” Out of the corner of her eye, Allie noticed that Bea again nodded. “There was this girl, we had some classes together. We got really close, and began dating. When my father found out, he disowned me, kicked me out on the streets. The girl cut out, not able to handle a homeless girlfriend. I wasn’t on the streets but a few weeks before I met Sophie-”

“-She was the one you told me about, right? The one who OD’d?” Bea questioned, her green eyes watching Allie intently.   
Allie fought the tears. It had been years, but Sophie’s loss still hit her hard. What a waste of such a young beautiful soul. Part of her heart would always be reserved for Sophie. Love doesn't die just because one person does. If you are lucky, you can recover and find love again.

Finally Allie found her voice. “Yeah, she was my first serious girlfriend. She lived on the streets, and turned tricks to survive. I…I started doing the same. Gotta eat somehow… ya know? Anyways, there was this john, he was a pretty decent guy, not too bad looking. He offered to take me off the streets. I just had to be his trophy wife. I couldn’t do it. I realized then that I really must be a lesbian. I would rather stay on the streets with Sophie then go with any man. The problem was, Sophie had a serious love affair with the ice. I always said she loved the dope more than me. She said she loved me, but I couldn’t make her forget like the dope did. It took me a long time, but I get that now. We made each other feel, the dope made us numb. Numb was good for a couple fucked up kids on the streets.”

When Allie quit rambling about her past, she noticed Bea’s beautiful face distorted into a frown. “That might be one of the saddest things I ever heard-”

“Please…I don’t need or want your pity, I just wanted to answer your question as honestly as possible. Don’t let my fucked up past change the way you look at me, please, I couldn’t handle that.”

Bea reached for Allie, and cupped her face in her hand. “I would never. I think you are beautiful, and amazing, and worthy of so much more than that, AllieCat.”

“You do?” Though she didn’t move her face from Bea’s warm hand, Allie couldn’t meet her in the eye. This had to be some kind of twisted joke, right? Women like Bea didn’t give Allie the addict the time of day. They were too good for her. Bea was too good for her.

“Of course I do, Allie. I find you miraculous. You make me feel things I have never.”

“Like what?” Allie got the implication, but she had to confirm. She couldn’t miss this, so she looked Bea directly in the eyes.

“From the very first day…” Bea looked around the room, finding sudden interest in her surroundings. “I felt things, Allie. A spark, I guess you could call it.”

“But you said you aren’t gay.”

“Doesn’t gay mean happy? I wasn’t until I met you.”

Call it nerves, call it being ecstatic at the possibilities, call it whatever you want. For some reason, Allie erupted into laughter which Bea quickly joined. The two of them laughed like it was going out of style, and once they finally quieted down, Bea removed her hand from Allie’s face and quickly grabbed her hand.

“I talked to Bridget a little bit the other day.”

“You did?” Allie huffed. She really did like Bridget, but the idea of a woman that had more to offer than Allie finding interest in her Bea, still didn’t sit right. It might be selfish, but she wanted to be the one, the only one, that Bea turned to.

“Yeah, she had a lot of good points. She said that she knew a lot of women that identified as straight, who fell in love with a woman, and freaked. She said forget the terminology and just be in the moment and see how you feel, cuz if you’ve fallen for someone, then fuck the labels.”

“And have you? Fallen for someone that is?” Allie squeaked.

“Why are you always so good to me, Allie?”  
This time, Allie could answer without hesitation. “Because from the first time I saw you, I knew you would be important to me, Bea. You are important to me.”

“As a friend?” 

“Yes…” Before she could continue, Allie heard Bea sigh. “But also so much more. I’m crazy about you.”

“Yeah?” Bea questioned, sounding more insecure than Allie had heard from her in a long time.

Allie couldn’t wait anymore. One hand securely in Bea’s, Allie used her other hand to stroke Bea’s face and then gently pull her in for their first kiss. Tentative at first, Allie’s lips grazed Bea’s soft ones. When Bea parted her lips with a little moan, Allie gently pushed her tongue into Bea’s open mouth, and their tongues danced together for a moment. Not wanting to rush and needing to make sure Bea was okay, Allie pulled back and looked at Bea. 

For a moment, Bea’s eyes stayed closed and her lips remain parted. When she opened her eyes and they met Allie’s, both women smiled, a genuine heartfelt smile. 

“I’m crazy about you too, AllieCat,” Bea whispered before she leaned forward and put their lips back together. 

Allie had never before felt anything so right. They still had a lot to figure out, but Allie wasn’t worried, as long as they faced it together.


	13. Chapter 13

A few days after her first kiss with Allie, Bea was practicing walking with her crutches with the blonde’s help. They repeatedly walked back and forth down the corridor, the mid afternoon sun coming through the window, shining on Allie like the angel she surely was. 

The previous few days had been the best in Bea’s life. Full of kisses and cuddling, and an overall peace that Bea had never previously experienced. The only thing that could have made it better is if Debbie was here.

She would be soon enough, hence Bea being so adamant about mastering the crutches. With one hand also in a cast, it was doubly challenging but Bea could not be deterred. Her appearance would already shock her daughter. She didn’t want to traumatize the young girl. It would be hard enough to explain to her innocent daughter everything going on, let alone doing so from a wheelchair. 

Bea was on a mission to make herself as “normal” as possible. That’s why she swore when she stumbled…again. “Fuck!”

Allie put her hand on Bea’s shoulder, causing a whole host of different feelings per the usual. “Let’s take a break, baby. We’ve been at this for over an hour.”

Bea shook her head and shook Allie’s hand off, despite how good it felt. “I need to do this,” Bea insisted. 

Allie, ever the patient and kind soul, agreed. “I know, baby, but we still have a couple days.”

“I have to be ready, Allie.” Bea snapped, and then felt instantly guilty. Allie had been so good to her and she deserved better than Bea’s constant bullshit. Maybe a break would be a good idea. “I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to be such a bitch. Let’s see if Maude needs help with lunch. Maybe a nap and a sandwich would do me some good.”

The relief she felt was tangible when Allie simply nodded and smiled and then put her hand back on Bea’s shoulder. She didn’t deserve Allie, but Bea was eternally grateful that she found her. Life was looking up with Allie by her side. Once Debbie was home and the bastard was rotting in prison where he belonged, Bea could focus fully on their future. One that she hoped and prayed would always include Allie. 

With Allie right beside her, Bea sat on the top of the staircase and slowly scooted down. It was the best way she had found to navigate the staircase with a broken leg. Sleeping upstairs wasn’t ideal in her condition, but what else could she do? Sleeping on the couch did not seem like a pleasant alternative. It was too far away from Allie for one thing. 

Not that they had shared a bed yet. Twin beds were a little too small anyways, especially with half of her limbs in plaster casts. Yet, being in the room next to Allie’s, knowing she could speak Allie’s name and the young blonde would be there filled Bea with relief. Let her sleep semi-decently. She could only imagine how well she would sleep when she finally got to sleep next to Allie. Snoozled up in the arms of the woman she was falling for, hell who was she kidding, the woman she had fell for, sounded like heaven to Bea.

There would be plenty of time for sharing a bed, for snoozling and other not so innocent things. Hopefully they had a lifetime to have it all. First, Bea had to work on healing. Then maybe she wouldn't have to crawl up and down stairs. Or need Allie’s assistance once she reached the bottom.

Allie had just bent over to help Bea up, when Kaz and some of her followers came down the hall. “You two done fucking so soon?”

Allie stumbled and nearly lost her hold on Bea, who clung to the blonde for dear life. She couldn’t risk injuring herself further. Besides, what a perfect excuse to be flush against the gorgeous woman who captivated her in so many ways.   
Said gorgeous woman huffed, “What the fuck, Kaz? What are you on about now?”

As Bea straightened herself out, and leaned on her crutches, Kaz said, “Don't play dumb, Allie. Bea was up there cussing and moaning, and even screamed, fuck, a couple of times. You got a loud one there, Allie, we could all hear you . You might have to invest in a ball gag.”

Simultaneously, Bea and Allie had different reactions. Before it registered that Allie said, “I'm more of a bit girl myself,” Bea was saying, “Maybe we should buy you a muzzle. For someone who is always talking, you sure say very little.”

Kaz snapped to attention on that one. “Oh it seems like our Allie is rubbing off on you in more ways than one.”

“Seems to me like someone is a little jealous.” Turning her attention to Allie, Bea added, “You didn’t tell me Kaz is gay too.”

“I…I’m…I’m not,” Kaz sputtered.

When not only Bea and Allie, but also Kaz’s crew of hyenas all began to laugh; Bea wasn’t sure how Kaz would react. When she just shook her head and said, “You might have met your match, Allie,” Bea couldn’t help the perma-grin that adorned her face. 

Matched with Allie? The most amazing woman Bea had ever met? It surely didn’t get better than that. For once in Bea’s life, things were only looking up.

All the commotion drew Maude out of her office, who came and stood beside the group of women. “Do I even want to know what you lot are up to now? Probably not,” she surmised, before turning her attention to Bea and Allie. “Allie, why don’t you help Kaz and the girls with lunch. I need to talk to Bea.”

When Allie started to grumble, Maude shook her head. “Don’t start, it will only be a minute. I will give her right back.”

Allie looked to Bea for confirmation. Even though it was something as trivial as a conversation with Maude, Bea liked that Allie deferred to her. Never before had anyone ever cared what she thought. This was a nice change and something Bea could get used to, she decided in the moment before she nodded at Allie. 

With one look she let Allie know it would be okay. Allie didn’t seem as sure, but she acquiesced. Bea had heard of people conversing without saying a word before, she had just never experienced it for herself. Once you have that connection with someone, where you know what they are thinking without speaking, the rest is pretty easy. 

“Come on, Bea, lets go to my office.”

As Bea moved to sidestep Kaz and the other girls, Allie squeezed her shoulder. Bea turned back and winked at the blonde who in turn blushed. Really? As comfortable as Allie seemed to be in her own skin, a simple wink caused her to blush? Interesting.

Bea was still thinking about how cute Allie’s blushing face was as she maneuvered herself into Maude’s office. When she sat in the chair across from Maude, the grimace was instant and unintentional. 

“Are you okay, Bea? Physically I mean?”

“I may have overdone it a bit, but I will be fine.”

“You probably should be going to physical therapy. As invested as Allie is into helping you, she’s not exactly a trained professional.”

“Allie is great,” Bea defended. “I mean, she is doing great. It’s just going to take some time.”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Your recovery time. As I'm sure you are aware, the Millers and therefore Debbie are scheduled to return from holiday in a few days. Bridget was the one who had contacted them to advise them of your assault, and to be on the lookout for Harry.”

“Yeah, I’m working really hard to master these crutches for Debbie’s sake as well as mine.”

“The Millers called Bridget this morning.”

“Is everything okay. Where is Debbie? Did Harry show up? Did he get to her? Where is Debbie?” With strength Bea didn’t know she had, she jumped up from the chair. Her heart was racing as she waited for Maude to answer, though it was probably only seconds.

“Debbie is fine. Girl, sit down before you hurt yourself. Don’t you think if something was wrong with Debbie I would have led with that? They haven't seen Harry either.”

“Okay?” Bea drawled out, unsure of what the point was then. Although she felt weak, she still couldn’t bring herself to sit down. Not when Debbie was involved.

“The Millers are concerned that you are not going to be able to take care of Debbie in your current condition. They are going to petition the court to become emergency guardians.”

As the dreaded words reached Bea’s ears, her head became foggy and her legs weak. Her world began to spin, and then it all went black.


	14. Chapter 14

Allie went with Kaz like Maude asked, but seeing she wasn’t really needed and finding herself more in the way than anything in the crowded kitchen, Allie slipped out the door. She paced in front of Maude’s office, waiting for her girl to come out. Having secret meetings never bode well for any of the girls. If it wasn’t that deep, Maude would have just said what it was.

Her suspicions were confirmed when Maude started screaming. “Allie! Kaz! Get in here! It’s Bea.” 

Allie was through the door in seconds, hollering for Kaz, who came in right behind her drying her hands with a yellow dish towel. They both rushed to Maude’s side, who was knelt on the floor beside a seemingly unconscious Bea. Her red hair fanned out all over the tiled floor, and Allie was never so thankful in her life that it wasn’t a pool of blood. 

“What the fuck happened, Maude?” Allie spat at her wide eyed mentor and friend as she put her fingers on Bea’s throat, checking for a pulse. She was pleasantly pleased when it was strong. She moved her fingers underneath Bea’s nose, and felt her breathe. She felt slightly better when she turned to stare at Maude, waiting for her explanation.

“She was in the chair over there,” Maude pointed behind them, wide eyed and shaky. “We were just talking and she jumped up. She wouldn't sit back down. I tried, but she just wouldn't. Then she collapsed. I tried to catch her…but I don’t move as fast as I used to.” 

“Did she hit her head?” Kaz asked, her earlier teasing tone long gone. Moments like these are why Allie loved her pseudo mother. Allie knew that the woman Kaz was and the woman she portrayed herself as were not quite the same. 

“No, she landed on her back, her ass mostly. Unless she re-aggravated her old injuries, she should be okay.”

“Then why isn’t she waking up?” Allie cried out.

“She will, Allie. Your girl is a survivor,” Kaz soothed. “She has been through worse than a little fainting spell. This is not going to be her demise. I promise you.”

While Allie was getting ready to remind Kaz she shouldn't make promises she might not be able to keep, Bea started to stir. 

Any retort she might have made to Kaz lost its appeal when her girl opened her beautiful brown eyes and whispered, “What happened?”

“You fainted. What do you remember?” Maude questioned gently, as if she were afraid of spooking Bea. 

What the hell happened? Allie didn’t have to wonder long.

“You said the Millers want to take Debbie from me.” Bea’s normal sparkle in her eyes, the one that lit when she spoke of Debbie was absent. Like she had lost her reason for living.

Allie hadn't seen this version of Bea since the first night they met. She wouldn't just lay down and let these people steal the joy from the woman she loved. Bea loved her daughter more than she loved herself. She was the epitome of a good mother, sacrificing life and limb to make sure her daughter was cared for. Allie wouldn't stand by and allow this institutionalized kidnapping to happen. 

“Piss off, they have no right!” Allie defended. “You are the victim here.”

“Okay, Allie. Why don’t you quit screaming in Bea’s face and help her sit up. Let’s let her have a minute.” Maude, always the voice of reason, advised. 

Allie held Bea’s uninjured hand in one of hers, while bracing the other behind Bea’s shoulder and pulling her up. Once Bea was upright, Allie pulled the chair directly behind her to help prop her up. They could worry about lifting her into the chair when they were sure Bea wasn’t going to collapse again. 

“What’s going on?” Allie questioned, not quite as loudly this time. Maude did have a point, screaming in Bea’s face probably wasn’t going to help matters.

Bea shook her head as tears began to well up in her eyes. Once those beautiful orbs overflowed, they streamed down her face. Allie gently wiped her cheeks, trying to refrain from crying herself. Seeing Bea like this hurt Allie in ways she hadn't dreamed. She had always been sympathetic to others pain, after experiencing a lifetime of it herself, but this was different. This was like Bea’s pain cut into her soul, Bea’s tears burnt into Allie’s being. 

When it became apparent Bea wasn’t going to be able to answer anytime soon, Allie turned her attention to the messenger. “Maude?”

Maude looked to Bea for consent to speak, and when Bea nodded, ever so slightly, Maude filled them in on the situation she had heard from Bridget.

“Maybe they are right,” Bea mumbled. “How can I take care of my daughter when I can’t take care of myself?”

Kaz, who had been unusually quiet up to this point, adamantly disagreed. “It’s not like you are the first mother who has ever had broken bones. And it’s not like your daughter, what’s her name again, Debbie?” When everyone nodded, Kaz continued. “It’s not like Debbie is a baby. She is nearly grown. How much effort can it really take to raise a teenager?”

When Maude laughed really hard, then shook her head and asked, “What were you like as a teenager, Kaz?” Even Bea chuckled at Kaz’s horrified expression.

Although the comic relief was needed, Allie had more pressing concerns. Surely Bea wasn’t going to give up this easily. She put up with years of abuse for what she deemed as the best for her daughter. A couple busy bodies couldn’t break her…right?

“From what I have gathered, Debbie is a good girl who loves her Mama. I’m sure she would help out around the house or whatever you need.”

“I'm not at home though, am I Allie? I'm here. What the hell can I do for her here?”

“Why are you here?” Kaz, ever the blunt one asked. “That bastard is long gone. You have a home. Why can’t you recover there?”

Bea looked wide eyed at Allie and then at the other women. The thought apparently had not crossed her mind. Her breathing quickly became ragged. 

“You’re not getting kicked out, Bea.” Allie soothed, once again rubbing Bea’s cheeks. 

“But it is a valid point. No offense, Maude, but if I had a home to stay in, I wouldn't be at this shit-hole.”

“None taken, asshole,” Maude shot back causing everyone to laugh but Bea, who looked miles away. Stuck on some train of thought that wasn’t heading anywhere good Allie surmised. 

“He always said if I reported him, he’d kill me. Surely he knows that the screws are looking for him. He’ll kill me,” Bea whispered.

If Allie wasn’t so in tune with Bea, she might have missed what her woman said. The other two apparently did because they did not react. 

“He’s not going to get to you again, Bea. I’ll kill that bastard first.” Allie spoke much louder, and she knew Kaz and Maude both heard her. She didn’t care, premeditated or not, she would fuck him up.

“I know you would try, AllieCat, but he is stronger than you. He is stronger than all of us.”

“Piss off. He is not stronger than me,” Kaz argued. “I have taken enough self defense classes to knock the shit out of Muhammad Ali.”

“That shouldn't be too hard. Isn’t he dead now?” Maude asked.

Allie chuckled alone this time as Kaz scoffed, “Not the point, Maude. The point is I can kick some major ass.” She then turned her focus to Bea. “Allie and I could come stay with you, at least until that bastard is caught. We wont let anything happen to you, Bea. I promise. Maybe I can teach you what I have learned. Then you could also kick some ass. Have you seen that movie with J Lo? That bastard got what was coming to him. Harry deserves the same.”

“He does have workout equipment at the house. Getting stronger couldn’t be a bad thing.”

“So, is it a plan? Are we moving in together?” Kaz asked.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Bea turned to Allie. “I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“Are you kidding? Allie would have u-hauled with you on day one,” Kaz answered before Allie had a chance too.

The heat rose quickly to Allie’s face, and since she couldn’t disagree she just smiled. 

“What are you going to tell the girls? They might not take this too well.” Maude reminded. 

“They have you. They have Mel. And I'm not disappearing. I’ll still be around. You can’t get rid of me that easily, Maude, you aren't that lucky.”

“I know that’s right. I am stuck in this shit-hole after all.” Maude teased, and once again everyone laughed. “But, seriously though. You three are really gonna do this, huh? Move out on me?”

“Well, I gotta get these two safe and settled, then I will be back. Allie probably wont be. She will be all wifed up, ya know?”

“Would that make you my mother-in-law?” Bea teased. Her real self beginning to come back, with a plan on how to take back her life starting to form. 

“I’m not that much older than you,” Kaz scoffed. “But yeah, basically. That means I am in charge right. You never piss off your mother-in-law.”

“What have I agreed to?” Bea mumbled, and Allie grabbed her hand.

“It’s okay, baby. We are in this together. I got you, always.”

“Promise?”

“Of course, baby. You are all mine forever.”

When they just stared at each other lovingly, it was Kaz’s turn to mumble, “The better question is, what have I gotten myself in to?”

“I have a feeling you three will be just fine,” Maude advised. “And if not you can always come back. I will always have a place for you here, and don’t any of you forget it. For as long as I live, you will always have a home with me. Home is where the heart is, and you three are in my heart. If there is anything I can do to help, let me know.”

“Thanks, Maude,” the other three women answered together. Surely, all their minds were full of what came next. 

Only time would tell if the choice was a good one or not, but Allie for one believed it was a start. The next step in the future she was building with her redheaded beauty. If they could just get Debbie home, and get rid of her bastard father, the rest would fall into place. Their future had endless possibilities, and it was time to begin.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know I am slow. But I am working weird hours, and trying to spend as much time as possible with the love of my life. We are getting there, I promise! ***

Late the next afternoon, Bea sat in the front passenger seat of Maude’s van as Allie and Kaz carried their bags inside her house. Since she couldn’t help anyways, she remained in her seat seemingly watching them as they went back and forth. In reality she was far away. Same place, but in a much different time. 

She vaguely understood that someone was talking, but she didn’t realize Maude was speaking to her until the older woman shook her shoulder gently. Bea still jumped, some habits would die hard. 

Bea turned to look at Maude who said, “I asked if you were okay, dear.”

“Yeah, of course, I'm fine.”

“You don’t look fine. You look like you have seen a ghost. You don’t have to do this you know,” Maude assured. “I'm sure the girls would understand if you just wanted to return to the shelter.”

“I have to do this.” Bea nodded back towards the house. Once again the force of the bad memories sucked her in. The last time she stumbled out that door she was almost dead. If Harry had got to her again, before the good Samaritans found her, she probably would be dead. 

In a lot of ways, things were so different now. The love of a good woman being the most obvious. In other ways, things were still the same. She still had recurring nightmares starring the bastard she married. She still had wounds that would probably never heal, not even after she gets out of the casts. Thankfully, those heavy, burdensome things were temporary. Her scars on the inside and out were most likely permanent. Not for the first and probably not the last time either, Bea thought Allie deserved better. 

“You will be fine, Bea,” Maude insisted, drawing Bea back into the present. “That Allie would do anything for you. You have me, you have Kaz, you have Bridget. You also have Detective Jones number in your new cell, right?”

Bea nodded along and tried to stop the tears from flowing to no avail. How did she get so many amazing women on her side? How would she repay any of them? Bea had no idea, which did nothing to prevent the helplessness that she was sadly becoming accustomed to. 

Bea turned, to hide her tears from Maude, just in time for Allie to appear at her window. “What’s wrong, baby? Please don’t cry.” The pretty blonde turned to Maude and hissed, “Why do you always make her cry, Maude?”

“Be nice to Maude, baby. It’s not her fault. I'm just having a moment.”

“You better listen to your woman, Allie. I'm gonna make you cry if you don’t quit blaming me for everything.”

Kaz had wandered up beside Allie, and per the usual couldn’t resist getting involved. “Maude’s an OG, Allie. You better watch yourself.”

“What the hell is an OG, Kaz? Don’t think I won’t kick your ass too.”

“Original gangster. Down girl, It was a compliment.”

“Yeah, it sounds like it.” Maude shook her head dramatically. “I don’t know what I did in my past life to get stuck with you fools, but I take it back.”

“You love us,” Allie shot back.

“Lord help me I do,” Maude agreed. 

Bea wiped the remaining tears off her face with a light giggle. It was hard to feel sorry for yourself and stay down around such uplifting women. 

“You ready to go in?” Kaz asked.

“Yeah, I think so.” Bea looked over Kaz and Allie’s heads at the house, and then turned back to Maude with a small smile. 

“Remember what I said, girl. I’ll be here in the morning to take you to Bridget’s office. I can’t wait to meet your Debbie.”

“I don’t know if she will be there for sure. Bridget told the Millers to bring her, but she warned me they may not if they are serious about emergency custody.”

“They can piss off!” Allie yelled.

“They are trying to save her, baby. I can’t hate them for that.” Bea understood, which wasn’t enough to stop her tears from starting again. Thinking you weren’t the safest place for your child to be didn’t sit well with any parent, any good one at least. 

“They don’t need to save her from you,” Kaz reminded. “You are her Mama. No one can change that.”

“We will get her home to you, Bea, no matter what it takes,” Maude soothed.

This time Bea didn’t jump when Maude put her hand on her shoulder and squeezed. She had stalled long enough, it was time to go home. That brick and mortar building had never felt like a real home, but maybe it would with Allie there, and once Bea got Debbie back. Or maybe she should burn the fucker to the ground and move somewhere that didn’t hold such bad memories. 

Time would tell if she could overcome the memories of that place or not. It was just a place, she tried to tell herself as she moved to open the van door. 

Reminiscent of the first night they all met, Allie and Kaz helped Bea out of the van. While Bea leaned against Allie for support, Kaz slid the back door open and retrieved Bea’s crutches.

“We gotta get these, I’ve carried your heavy ass enough for one lifetime.”

“She’s not heavy,” Allie defended, causing Bea to smile wide.

“Heavy enough,” Kaz teased with a slight slap to Bea’s ass.

Bea and Allie’s faces both turned red for completely different reasons, although their words were exactly the same. “That’s my ass!”

Bea kept her head ducked, Allie fumed, and Kaz cackled till Maude hollered, “You three are ridiculous. Get your asses in the house so I can get out of here. I got things to do, people to see.”

“Didn't you say that backwards?” Ever the pervy Kaz asked. 

“Wouldn't you like to know. You need a man, Kaz, so you can have your own business to mind.”

“Or a woman,” Bea teased, using the one bit of ammo she knew always got to Kaz. 

Predictably, the older blonde began to stutter. “F…Fo…For the last time, I…I’m not gay.”

“That’s what they all say,” Allie giggled. 

“Well if I was gay, I’d be your competition. I've always had a thing for redheads.” Turning the tables always coming naturally to Kaz.

Allie’s giggles abruptly stopped. “That shits not funny. I’ll cut a bitch.”

“I ain’t scurred,” Kaz informed them, with a sly wink at Bea.

“You're gonna make AllieCat roar, Kaz. As much as I want to see that happen, I really gotta go.”

The women said their goodbyes to Maude, and walked towards the house. Well, the blondes walked, Bea hobbled. By the time they made it to the front door, Maude was long gone. 

Bea was counting down the days until getting around didn’t take such effort. She knew she was lucky, it could always be worse. Not everyone lived on to despise their abuser, or curse the day they met. Yet, having the mobility of a geriatric patient was never in Bea’s life plan, at least not for another couple decades. Not too long ago, when Bea lay in a bloody, broken heap, she wouldn't have imagined she would live that long. Now she’s dreaming of grandchildren, and porch swings with Allie by her side. 

Happy dreams of her future may be the most unexpectedly terrifying thing Bea had ever experienced. For her, it was dangerous to dream of happily ever after. Life was far from a fairy tale. In her world, the villain always won. It was yet to be seen if that tradition would continue. 

The one difference now is she wasn’t fighting alone. A team of warriors were on her side. Some of them might soon even have a name if Kaz’s mumbling could be taken seriously. Something about the Red Right Hand.

As Bea crossed the threshold into hell, purgatory one might say, the usefulness of a vigilante group that seeks to destroy those who destroy innocent women, smacked her in the face. Someone had to teach these bastards a lesson. How beautifully ironic would it be having survivors doling out their revenge?

Bea couldn’t wait till the casts were removed and she could begin physical therapy. What she wouldn't give to be the one to give Harry what Karma had coming for him. That thought made her light up in a way she normally doesn't, except maybe when she gets alone time with Allie.

That beauty could light up the darkest of days. Bea knew that first hand. Allie had already lit her world. Set it on fire actually.

Said blonde drew Bea out of her musings when she asked, “Where do you want to sleep? In your room? Kaz and I kinda gave ourselves the tour, I hope you don’t mind.”

Bea adamantly shook her head no. “I don’t want to sleep in there. The bed in the guest room will work just fine.”

“I call dibs on your bed then,” Kaz shouted, though they were all standing right beside each other. 

“I guess that leaves me on the couch,” Allie said, her beautiful lips pulled down in a frown.

“There is a room upstairs. Debbie’s room I’m assuming. I don’t think Bea would mind if you slept in there.”

Bea’s heart began to pound. Here goes nothing. “Of course I wouldn’t mind…but I was kind of hoping you would share with me.”

“Seriously?” Allie squeaked. 

Bea’s face burned as hot as coals. “I mean, you don’t have to of course.”

“You know she wants to, Bea. Allie is your stalker after all.”

“Piss off, Kaz.” Allie shook her head at her mentor before turning her attention back to Bea. “Of course I want to. I just didn’t think you were ready for that.”

Bea’s eyes grew wide and Kaz couldn’t contain her laughter.

“Oh my God, I didn’t mean THAT…I mean to share a bed. I know you’re not ready for THAT.”

Allie only thought she knew what Bea was ready for. What Allie didn’t know, couldn’t know, was that Bea felt more ready every day. She was just waiting for the casts to be removed. She didn’t want her first time with Allie to be handicapped for any reason. She already felt ill-equipped to please her younger, way more experienced girlfriend. Being unable to move freely surely wouldn’t help.

Instead of saying any of that, especially in front of Kaz, Bea just said, “So it’s settled. You can share with me.”

Bea got comfy on the couch while the girls put their bags in their respective claimed rooms. The rest of the evening went by rather quickly, as the girls chatted and watched the telly. Before Bea knew it, it was time for bed.

Allie crawling in bed beside her, felt better than Bea could have ever imagined. Allie leaning over her and kissing her goodnight, before snoozling up beside her, was a dream come true for Bea. Before Bea knew it, the sun was coming up and she felt more refreshed than she had in a long time. 

She was ready to face the day, no matter what it may bring. Today she would hopefully see her daughter. Maybe even bring her home. 

Although it wasn’t planned, Bea finally realized what she needed most of all. She looked at the sleeping beauty beside her, blonde hair splayed out all over her pillow. As beautiful as Bea thought Allie was when she was awake, she was ridiculously cute sound asleep. Bea hated to wake her, but if today was going to happen as planned they needed to get moving. 

“Baby,” Bea whispered, placing kisses along Allie’s hairline, on her temple, and down her cheek, before leaning in and kissing those sweet lips.

Allie finally started to stir as Bea kissed her again. “Mmmorning, baby,” Allie husked. 

“Good morning, love.”

“Yes it is,” Allie agreed with a sleepy little smile.

“I got something to ask you. I don’t want you to feel pressured, but I gotta ask.”

“You can ask me anything, baby.” Allie started to sit up, staring at Bea intently. 

“Will you go with me today? I need you, and, if all goes as planned I want you to meet Debbie. Maybe not as my girlfriend, but as someone who is important to me. Can you do that?”

“Of course, baby. Whatever you need, you know I got you.”

The thing is, Bea did know that. She felt that with everything Allie did, and even in the things she didn’t do. Never did Allie make her feel like the burden Bea believed herself to be. Never did Allie make her feel unworthy or useless or unlovable, like her estranged husband liked to say. Things were definitely changing for the better, and the beautiful blonde was surely the reason. With Allie by her side, Bea felt ready to take on the world. And that kind of effort just might be what it takes to earn her happily ever after. They both deserved it, and so did Debbie. Hopefully they could all have it together.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I became one of those people who started a story, and then disappeared. I swear I haven't forgotten about A Different Choice. It's just when I started this story, writing was all I had. I was out of work on medical leave, and existing rather than living. As most of you know, since then I healed medically, fell in love, and moved halfway across the country. I started working again, and work a different shift than the love of my life. Its hard to find time to write, when spending quality time with her is my top priority, but like I said, I swear I haven't forgotten. I know what happens next, and will hopefully get it out tomorrow. I know this chapter is short, that was the first thing my better half said lol, but I wanted to get this out asap. Thanks for sticking with me, and long live #Ballie no matter what the dumb-asses from Wentworth have done…

As soon as they entered Bridget’s office complex, Allie excused herself to the loo. She didn’t really have to go, though it was possible she would puke at any moment. Her hands were shaky as she stood in front of the mirror, and ran her hands over her sundress. 

Although it was slightly faded, it was the most appropriate thing she could find to wear. At Bea’s insistence, Allie had tried to go through Bea’s closet, but being a little thicker, and curvier than Bea, nothing fit right. Maybe for a night on the town, but definitely not to meet the most important person in her love’s life. 

She knew she would have to meet Debbie sooner or later, but she was kind of hoping for the later. Allie wasn’t ready for this, wasn’t ready to make a lasting first impression, even as Bea’s “friend.”   
She knew Bea loved her, but if Debbie didn’t, how could they make this work? Would Bea even want to try?

Allie’s breaths were ragged as she walked on weak legs to the sink, where she held on for dear life. She wanted to splash cold water on her face, but she was afraid of making her makeup run. She really didn’t want to be a raccoon for the rest of the day.

She was taking deep breaths in through her nose and out through her mouth, the way she had learned in counseling, when Maude walked in and stopped just inside the doorway. “Your girl just went in. What’s taking you so long?” When Allie didn’t answer, Maude walked a few steps closer. “What are you doing…Allie? Are you okay?”

“What if she doesn't like me?” Allie whispered.

“That fool loves you.” When Allie shook her head, it must of registered who she was referring to. “Of course she will like you. What’s not to like?”

“I barely have my shit together. I'm certainly not good enough for her mother-”

As the tears started to well up in Allie’s eyes, Maude grabbed her arm. “You love her. From what I can tell, you treat her better than she has ever been treated in her life. Her daughter will see that. Anyone with two eyes and half a brain can see that. It’s going to be okay, I promise. You two are getting your shit together, together.”

When the stall door opened and a young woman stepped out, neither Allie nor Maude were expecting it, and they both jumped, their bodies smacking into each other.

Turning to look, Allie’s heart lurched when she saw a younger version of the woman she loved staring back at her. If her thick curls were red instead of brown, and she was a little bit older, Allie would have sure thought it was Bea rather than Debbie coming out of the stall.

Of all the people it could be, of course it had to be the her. So much for being the friend. Fuck, Bea was never going to forgive her for this one.

“I wish someone loved my Mum as much as you love this woman,” Debbie stated matter of factly as she stepped to the sink to wash her hands. “Instead she got stuck with my bastard of a father.” 

As Allie stood there with her mouth agape, Debbie finished lathering and rinsing, and grabbed some paper towels before quickly drying her hands as she walked to the door. The teen looked back at Allie long enough to say, “Good luck,” before she left just as quickly as she had appeared. 

If Allie wasn’t going to puke before, she definitely could now. She sunk to the ground, with her head in her hands.  
Too late to make a difference, Maude hollered out, “Is there anyone in here?” When no one answered, Maude shook her head at Allie. “I didn’t know anyone was in here.”  
“Me either, now did I? I wasn’t talking till you came in. I didn’t think to look. My mind was elsewhere.”

“Like on how to let Debbie know you love her Mother?” Maude cackled, before it soon turned into full on laughter. She was wiping tears from her eyes when she apparently noticed the glare Allie was shooting at her. “I’m sorry, love, its just I swear some things would only happen to you.”

“Laugh it up, Maude. You wont think it’s so funny when I have to move back in.”

“Oh, Allie, you are so dramatic. That woman loves you as much as you do her. You will be just fine, all three of you. You heard what Debbie said. She wishes someone would love her Mother the way you…love…” She couldn’t finish her sentence without the laughter taking back over.

Allie only wished she could find the humor in the situation. Then maybe her breathing could return to normal and she could find the strength to lift herself off the bathroom floor. It seemed clean enough as far as loos go, but it was still a bathroom floor, in a public building at that. Thank God she wasn’t a germaphobe, that would only add to her list of problems that seemed to grow all the time. 

Maude, never the one for pity parties, quit laughing to begin lecturing. “You need to pick yourself up, and dust yourself off as they say. People have a lot worse problems. Hell you have had a lot worse problems. So quit making things bigger than they are, and get your ass out there. Your girl didn’t invite you here for you to have a melt down in the loo. Go be the girl she needs you to be, Allie. Prove to Debbie and most importantly to yourself that you are the woman Bea needs. Bea knows it, I know it, its about time you knew it. I am going to give you a few more minutes to compose yourself, and then if you don’t get your ass out there, I’m coming back in to kick it.” 

Maude stomped out the door, leaving Allie all alone. For the next few minutes, Allie just concentrated on breathing and letting Maude’s words soak in. She was right, as usual. Bea needed Allie to be strong, not to be some whimpering asshole on the floor. Because she loved Bea more than she could ever hate herself, Allie used all the willpower she had to pick herself up.

She stood before the mirror, one last time, and again straightened her dress. She could do this. Like Maude said, she had been through so much worse. If she could get off the streets, beat the dope, and get a “straight” girl to love her, she could meet one teenage girl. Officially that is. Allie could only hope that both Smith women could forgive her for the unofficial meeting in the bathroom, and the secrets it revealed. There was only one way to find out, and like the rest of Allie’s life, of course it had to be the hard way.


	17. Chapter 17

Bea sat fidgeting, in a stiff metal chair with very little padding, waiting for the Millers to arrive. Bridget sat behind her old oak desk, across from Bea, looking every bit the calm cool professional that Bea imagined she would be. Bea’s eyes kept getting pulled to a picture on the corner of the desk of Bridget and a younger woman, who had to be somewhere between her age and Allie’s. The two looked very much in love and domesticated, but the girl had a wild side, Bea would bet her last dollar on it. 

It appeared her and Allie’s mutual jealousy of this woman at least held some merit. Bridget apparently wasn’t opposed to relations with women. Although for Bea, it didn’t matter if every woman in the world had sapphic tendencies, or if men suddenly became appealing in a way they really had never been before, the only person she would ever love is Allie. 

Speaking of the young blonde, Bea wondered what happened to her. They had agreed that Allie wouldn't come in until Bea knew what was going on, but she at least expected to be able to gain strength from Allie’s presence. Instead her young love disappeared and Bea had to get her pep talk from Maude. 

Maude was always full of wisdom. Piss and vinegar too, but mostly wisdom. That woman always knew just what to say; To calm Bea, to keep Allie in line, even to shut Kaz up, which some would say is a near impossible task. Everyone needs a Maude in their life, and Bea was blessed by the one in hers. 

A firm knock on the door drew Bea from her musings. Bridget stood and went to answer the door, while Bea’s legs began to shake. This was it. Her chance to convince these great people that she can and will be great for Debbie too. That tending to her daughter has always been her top priority and will continue to be until the day she dies. That filing for emergency custody, while appreciated, is not necessary. 

Karen and Michael Miller walked in the door behind Bridget, but without Debbie. Where was her beautiful girl? Surely they really didn’t plan to keep them apart did they?

The sudden arms around Bea’s body caused her to flinch, though she saw Karen rushing towards her. The grip was a little tight around Bea’s fragile body, but she didn’t dare say so. This was her chance to show she wasn’t weak, that she was strong enough to care for herself and her daughter.

“Oh, Bea, I always knew that he was a pig, I didn’t know he was hurting you though. Why didn’t you say something? You could have came with us. This never would have happened if you were with us-”

“Why don’t you let her breathe, honey?” Michael asked, much to Bea’s relief. The support was nice and unexpected, but the pressure Karen was placing on her both physically and emotionally was quickly becoming overwhelming. 

Bea sighed in relief when Karen released her grip and took the seat beside her. Michael stood behind his wife with a soothing hand on her shoulder. The idea that is what marriage is supposed to be resonated through Bea. 

The only hands that should ever be put on another are out of love, or even lust. Never anger or hate. More proof Bea’s marriage wasn’t a real marriage, more like imprisonment with cruel and unjust punishment. In America, they would call that unconstitutional. Most people around the world would consider it hell. Bea certainly did. 

Then there was her angel. The only bright spot in her almost twenty years living with a monster. The best part of Bea, the one thing she was the most proud of. She for sure thought she would see Debbie today, yet she wasn’t here. And Bea had to know why.

“Where’s Debbie?” Her wide eyes searching the room, though she knew her daughter wasn’t around. 

“She’s here. We thought maybe the adults could talk first and then bring her in.”  
Karen nodded as her husband spoke before adding, “We think you got the wrong idea, Bea. Michael and I don’t want to take Debbie from you. We know you are a great mother, and no one can replace you in Debbie’s eyes or in her heart. We want what you want. We want her to be safe-”

“That bogan dickhead is off his rocker,” Michael interjects. “Until he in Wahlford, neither of you are safe.”

Bea couldn’t argue anything that was being said. In fact she wholeheartedly agreed. She just didn’t know what to say. 

Thank God for Bridget, who took the chance to say, “I think we all agree on that. It’s just filing for emergency custody involves the coppers in an already volatile situation.”

Bea couldn’t wipe the tears from her eyes fast enough with one arm in a cast. Of course Karen noticed, she was a woman after all, and women tend to notice everything.

“Oh, Bea, that is not what we want. We just want to protect Debbie. We love her like she is our own-”

“But, we know she’s not,” Michael interjects again. Bea decided in that moment she really likes Michael.

“From a psychological stand-point, a teenage girl needs her mother. Admittedly this is a unique, albeit all too common situation. The right answer is not as clear-cut here, but-”

“I want her to stay with the two of you until Harry is apprehended,” Bea found her voice to say. “He is not done with me yet, and I don’t want Debbie to witness whatever happens next.”

“Then you should stay with us as well, you shouldn’t be alone.” There went Michael, that sweet man that Bea never thought existed. She thought good men were about as real as unicorns. If Harry had been half as sweet, her marriage wouldn't have been such a tragedy.

But he wasn’t, and here they were, so Bea said, “I’m not alone. I have a whole support group now that didn’t exist before. I even have friends that live with me.” Her heart hurt a little calling Allie just her friend, but Bea surely wasn’t going to tell these people about the woman who forever changed her life, at least not before she told Debbie. 

She had so much to tell her daughter, maybe that bit could wait until after everything settled down. It’s not like there wasn’t enough going on that would rock the world as Debbie knew it. As far as Bea knew, Debbie had no idea what her father was capable of. Bea tried to shelter her as much as possible, but there was no hiding the damage this time. It was time for a serious talk. A lot of people would say it was long overdue.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay with us?” Karen asked.

“I’m sure. I’m learning to live on my own.” Once again, mentioning Allie didn’t seem right. Having Allie by her side was just a blessing she didn’t expect. Bea really was learning to live for herself. Making her own decisions and own money was just the start. She could only go up from here. 

“So, Debbie will stay with the Millers until the Harry situation is taken care of, without them filing for custody. When its safe to do so, she will return to her mother. Does everyone agree?” Bridget asked while looking around the room. When all three of them nodded in unison, Bridget concluded, “Well I guess that’s settled then.”

Bea breathed a big sigh of relief. This happened much simpler than she expected. The only thing left was to explain it to Debbie, so Bea asked, “Can I talk to Debbie alone? I really need her to hear this from me.”

“Of course, she is your daughter,” Karen answered for the Millers.

Bea looked at Bridget who said, “How about the Millers and I go get a coffee, and you and Debbie can talk in here. Take all the time you need, I don’t have any more appointments scheduled today.”

Bea started to tear up again. For the millionth time, she realized she would never be able to repay all the blessings she had received since her first night at the shelter. All she had to offer at this point was a simple, “Thank you. All three of you. I will never forget the kindness you have shown me and my daughter.”

“You’ve had a rough go of it, Bea, it can only get better from here,” Michael said as he stood up. He laid his hand on her shoulder and gently squeezed before he walked towards the door. 

“You already know I am a hugger,” Karen justified before throwing herself at Bea again. This time Bea did not jerk away. Maybe she was getting better. One day at a time. 

When Karen finally released her, Bridget said the words Bea had been waiting for. “Let’s get Debbie, shall we? I’m sure she misses her Mama just as much as you miss her.”

That point was proven when Michael opened the door and Debbie almost knocked him over by running in. “Mom!” Debbie didn’t stop till she stood right before Bea, and then she came to a sudden halt. Mouth agape, all Debbie could do was stare. Which was understandable, with the casts, the yellowed bruising on her face, and what was sure to be a scar on her temple, Bea didn’t quite look like the woman Debbie was used to.

“Is that what that bastard did to you?” Debbie exclaimed.

Bea looked at the door the Millers had just exited. She caught Bridget’s look and nodded when she mouthed, “You got this.”

As the door closed, Bea looked back at her daughter who asked louder, “Mom is that what that fucking asshole did to you?”

“Watch your mouth, Deb. A young lady shouldn’t swear like that.” When Debbie rolled her eyes, Bea decided to pick her battles and just answer the question. “But, yes, this is what your father did to me.”

Debbie sat in the chair that Karen had just left and asked, “Why? I don’t understand. I always knew he was an as- I mean jerk, but when did he start hitting you?”

Bea sighed and put her good hand on the bridge of her nose before she whispered, “He hit me the first time before you were born.”

“What?!” Debbie screeched. “Why would you stay with him then?”

“He promised that he didn’t mean it, that he was sorry, that he would never do it again. And he didn’t until you were about a year old. By that time I was a young mother with no job, no money and nowhere to turn.” 

“No one would help you?” Debbie, with a solid group of friends and a Mother that would die for her, looked at Bea in disbelief.

“You know my mother, your grandmother, resented me from the day I was born. I never spoke to her again after I moved out. Your father had chased away any friends I had. I had no one, which he constantly threw in my face. But once again he convinced me he was sorry, that he had anger issues heightened by drinking and that he would quit.”

“He’s always drinking though. I can’t remember a time when he didn’t drink. Well maybe for a little bit when I was younger.”

“Yeah, that didn’t last long. So, I threatened to leave him, and he said that he would take you from me. That no judge in their right mind would give a baby to a woman that couldn’t support it. He had never laid a hand on you, and I had no proof he ever hit me. I decided in that moment that I could handle a few bruises if I could keep you and keep you safe.”

“Now look at you, Mom, that is more than a few bruises.” 

“The more he drank, the more violent he became. Do you remember when you were about ten and you went and stayed with his sister for the summer?”

“Of course, Aunt Holly. They had a horse that I really loved named Sapphire.”

“Well, that was only supposed to be a week visit.”

“But I stayed the whole summer-”

“Because he was drinking a lot and using me as a punching bag. He broke three ribs, and it took me the rest of the summer to recuperate.”

“Oh my god, Mom, seriously?”

Bea nodded before explaining. “That time the neighbors heard screaming and called the police. To escape charges he agreed to go to meetings and anger management classes. He quit drinking for almost a year, and things got better for awhile. Then he lost his job at the refinery, and it wasn’t long before he started drinking again. Of course, he blames all his problems on me. It only gets bad when he has too much to drink.”

“Mom, he is an abuser. He is not going to change. You have to stay away from him, this time for good. There are better people out there than that bogan wanker.” 

Oh didn’t Bea know it. “I know, baby.”

“The Millers said you have been staying at a shelter, how did that happen?”

Bea filled her daughter in on everything that had happened since the beating that sent her to the shelter in fear of her life, while Debbie just looked on, still in disbelief. “You were free of him, and you went back?”

“You have to understand, Debbie, I had nothing. I still had no way to support you because he wouldn't let me work besides the occasional haircut at the house. All I knew was I couldn’t lose you. When you have children one day, you will understand the lengths mothers will go to to protect their children.”

“Oh, Mama, I’m so sorry,” Debbie jumped out of her chair so fast it almost fell over. She grabbed Bea as if she was never going to let go. The two Smith women didn’t say anything for a few minutes, while they just held each other and cried. 

When the sobs turned into sniffles, and Debbie returned to her seat, Bea finally told Debbie what the young girl needed to hear. What Bea needed her to understand above all else. “Honey, I don’t ever want you to feel like any of this is your fault. It’s not on you that your father is a worthless drunk. It’s not on you that I couldn’t support us without him. I appreciate the sentiment, but please don’t ever apologize for things that are not your fault.”

“I just wish this wouldn’t have happened to you.”

“I know, baby, but just know that we are never going to be in this situation again. I’m stronger now, and for the first time in my life I have an amazing support system. I will no longer live in fear of your father. I’m getting stronger every day, and I even moved back to the house.”

Debbie looked at her with wide eager eyes. “So, I can go home with you? I’m so ready to go home.”

Bea hated to break her daughter’s heart again, but deep down she knew what her and the Millers agreed upon was the best. “Not yet, baby. Not until they catch your father. He won’t stop trying to get to me until he is caught. I don’t want you to be a part of that.”

“You can’t be alone!” Debbie exclaimed.

“I’m not alone, sweetie. I have met some amazing woman and I have a couple of friends who have moved in with me. I’m safer with them there.”

“Who are these women? From the shelter? Are you sure they are not just using you for a place to stay?” Debbie tossed her hair back in typical teenage fashion.

“I’m sure, baby. They have been there for me since that first night. I wouldn’t have made it this far without them. Actually, a couple of the women are here with me. Would you like to meet Maude and Allie?” 

“Of course. I don’t want anyone staying with you that I don’t know. If I can’t be with you to protect you, I need to make sure these women can be trusted.”

“Well, only Allie is staying with me, well her and Kaz. The other woman, Maude actually runs the shelter.”

“Either way, I need to meet them, and the other one, what’s her name? Kaz? I need to meet her too.”

“Well, you can meet Kaz another day. Hand me those crutches, and you can meet the others right now.”

Debbie grabbed the crutches that lay on the floor in front of Bridget’s desk and handed them to her Mother. “Do you need help?”

All the practicing that Bea did with Allie paid off, and she got up without much effort. “Give your old Mom some credit, I’m not disabled.” 

Debbie giggled, but all jokes aside, Bea really was thankful that wasn’t the case. She very easily could have been if that bastard had his way.

Bea did wait for Debbie to open the door for them, and then hobbled her way out the door. As they reached Bridget’s waiting room, Maude and Allie both looked at her expectantly. Bea winked at Allie, and swore she could see the stress evaporate from Allie’s being.

As her and Debbie approached, Bea said, “There is someone I want you to meet. This is my daughter, Debbie, the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“Debbie, this is Maude, she is the hero that runs the shelter.”

“Nice to meet you, Maude,” Debbie said while sticking her hand out. Though her attention was fully on Allie.

“And this is Allie,” Bea said.

Of all the reactions that Bea was expecting, laughter was not one of them. Then the most bizarre thing happened. Debbie looked right at Allie, who was turning 50 different shades of red, and asked, “So, I’m the daughter?” Allie’s mouth dropped open, while Maude couldn’t contain her laughter.

Bea looked back and forth between the two young women that meant the most to her and asked, “Am I missing something?”

“It seems you left part of the story out, Mom. We…we kind of…met already,” Debbie explained through her laughter. “She was scared to meet her girlfriends daughter.”

“Oh…OH,” Bea exclaimed as it finally dawned on her what was happening. 

When Bea couldn’t speak and just continued to gawk at Debbie, her beautiful soul of a daughter continued, “Yeah, I told her I wished someone loved my Mom as much as she loved this mystery woman. I guess wishes do come true.”

“Sometimes they do,” Bea and Allie answered together. After everything they had all been through, it was nice to not dread the future. Once Harry was dealt with, theirs could truly begin.


	18. Chapter 18

The day having been much better than anyone expected, the air was light, and the mood jovial as Allie sat around Bea’s kitchen table with her love, Kaz, and Maude. Amid the sounds of silverware clanking against the plates, laughter filled the room. The conversation flowed easily as it often does in good company.

While cackling, Kaz said for at least the fourth time, “Hey, Maude, tell me again what Allie’s face looked like when Debbie came out of the stall.” 

“Piss off, Kaz. It’s not funny. That is not the first impression I wanted to give.”

“Oh, I’m sure you didn’t want her to know you want to shag her mother. I’m sure she doesn’t want to know that either.”

“I wasn’t talking about shagging, asshole, I was talking about love.”

“She likes you, baby, she was pretty clear about that,” Bea soothed.

Allie looked deep in Bea’s eyes, and saw nothing but sincerity pouring out her green orbs. “I like her too. She’s a good girl like her Mama. What’s not to like?”

“I still expect you to tell me what your little side chat was all about. You guys talked for quite a while there.”

Allie easily got lost in the depth of Bea’s eyes, but without hesitation answered, “Of course, baby, you know I have no secrets from you.” 

Unlike most people who claim to always be truthful, Allie actually meant it. Secrets destroy everything and she was unwilling for that to happen to the two of them. She finally met the one who would complete her, she wasn’t going to fuck that up now. 

The mood suddenly too serious for the cynical Kaz, she broke their staring contest with a predictable, “Oh gag me. Can we please go back to making fun of Allie?”

“I think we’ve had enough pick-on-Allie time.” Allie sighed, though she really wasn’t upset. Not much could disrupt the euphoria she had been feeling lately, especially today.

“But it never gets old,” Kaz argued.

“So your jokes aren’t like you then?” Allie shot back.

Kaz rolled her eyes while saying, “Your time will come, young blood, but I suppose I’ll give you a break.” She sipped on her soft drink before letting them know, “The locksmith came today, and I left the keys on the counter. All the locks are changed and he put a dead bolt on the door to the garage. It’s going to be a lot harder for anyone uninvited to get in now.”

“Not impossible though,” Bea muttered.

“Well nothings impossible, but we sure don’t want to make it easy for him or anyone else for that matter.”

Bea sat still for a minute before asking, “When are we going to start working out?”

“Well getting the casts off would be a good first step I would imagine. You got a good month left at least before that happens.”

Bea sighed loudly, her distaste at the wait evident. 

Kaz just laughed before explaining, “We got to make sure that its not going to hurt you. Speaking of, I stopped and got your pain pills today. It was too easy, I just gave the pharmacist your identification, and they handed them right over.”

“Are you out of pills, baby?” Allie was suddenly felt immense guilt. They had been so focused on everything else going on, Allie hadn't thought to ask how Bea’s pain level was. Now that she thought about it, she not only hasn’t seen Bea take a pill, she also hadn't seen the bottle since they left the shelter.

“I ran out yesterday.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? I could have picked them up for you.”

Instead of answering, Bea looked from Allie to Kaz and back with wide green eyes. Allie followed their eyes path and suddenly wrinkled her nose. She smelled a rat. 

As uncomfortable as it was becoming, Allie waited for what she knew was coming. She kept looking between her pseudo mother and the woman she loved, wondering which one of them would actually say it. 

Of course, it was Kaz, who tried to justify their actions. “Look, Allie, there is no reason to be upset. I told Bea it might be a good idea if we kept the pills away from you.”

Allie immediately focused all her attention on Bea. “You really think that little of me?”

“Of course not bab-”

“-You obviously do. Don’t rely on the junkie, right? She is more concerned with getting high than the well being of her girlfriend.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Allie. You are doing so good, I just didn’t want to tempt you.” 

Instead of telling Kaz the only thing she was tempted to do was punch her in the face, Allie jumped up and quickly moved to the trash can. 

“I’m taking the trash out. Is that okay with everyone here or does someone want to frisk me before I go outside?”

“Allie-” Bea started to get up and Allie waved her off. 

With the weight of the world on her shoulders, Allie shook her head at Bea before yanking the full trash bag out and rushing out the door.

Allie knew she might have been overreacting a little, but damn if her heart didn’t hurt. Getting clean was a struggle, the hardest thing she had ever done in her life, yet she had done it. Bea hadn't been there, she didn’t know how hard Allie had fought for her sobriety, but Kaz did. 

And then she acted like it meant nothing to Allie. Like Bea meant nothing to Allie. To make matters worse, Bea seemingly agreed. 

Her thoughts took on a life of their own, and she was almost swept away in the barrage of emotions it brought her. The tears flowed as Allie hurried to tie the bag and slam it in the large bin. The clash of bottles and cans rattled into the otherwise peaceful night air. 

It didn’t matter how long she was sober. She would always have the junkie stigma. A big caution sign on her forehead. Since her sobriety wasn’t a tangible thing, some people would always doubt its strength, her strength, or her ability to maintain it.

She didn’t think her favorite people would be among her naysayers, but tonight she learned differently. Quite frankly, it broke her heart. She couldn’t stop the tears, so she gave up trying to keep up with wiping them.

Of course it was Maude who came to check on her. Who would have really expected anything different? The wise caretaker surely volunteered for the job, as she took it upon herself to look after her girls. As if she knew what Allie needed, Maude stood next to her without saying a word.

Allie didn’t want to talk at all, but she definitely wasn’t ready to talk to Kaz or Bea, being afraid she would say something she regretted to the latter. It wasn’t really Bea’s fault that Kaz got her started. Bea didn’t know Allie on the drugs or during her recovery. She couldn’t be expected to understand what being clean meant to her.

After a few moments, and when Allie’s tears finally subsided, Maude broke the silence. “You do know they didn’t mean to hurt you, right?”

Allie met Maude’s gaze, but didn’t answer. Of course her heart knew that, but her brain was telling her a completely different story. It wasn’t the first time her heart and brain were at odds, and she wisely decided to just keep her mouth shut, until the two could agree on how to feel. 

“It hasn’t been that long since drugs controlled your life. You’ve been clean what? A few months? That is not that long after years of abuse.”

“Pills aren’t even my thing, Maude,” Allie snarkily replied. She knew that wasn’t the point, but she felt it needed to be said.

Maude just rolled her eyes, not impressed with Allie’s reasoning apparently. 

“Sobriety is a choice, Allie. A new choice everyday. Yes, you made the choice of getting clean, but you could also very easily make a different choice and relapse.”

“I’m not going to-”

“Haven’t you said that before?”

And there it was. The cold hard truth. Very rarely do people get clean and stay clean the first time they try. Allie was no exception. Rehab doesn’t always work. People go in with the wrong intent. They can’t get clean for someone else. They can’t do it because they think they should. They have to want it, really want it; and Allie did, more than anything else in her life.

She didn’t go through rehab this time. Kaz got her through the withdrawals, Maude was there for moral support, and she went to Bridget to talk and for healthier coping skills. Allie was far enough removed from it now to know she was never going back. Only time could convince everyone else too. 

“When I said it before, Maude, I didn’t do anything to change my circumstances. I was still on the street, still around the same people, and still needing the release from life it brought. I’m not that girl anymore.”

“Oh, Allie, I know you’re not, and the girls do to. You know Bea doesn’t understand that world, she was just listening to Kaz. And you know Kaz. She was just looking out for you. She might have been a little misguided, but what else is new?” 

“I would never steal from Bea, drugs or otherwise. I wouldn’t take something that she needs to get her through this, and its bullshit that Kaz implied I would. I would lay down my life for Bea, and I thought she knew that.”

“You just need to talk to her, Allie. Don’t shut down. That won’t be good for either of you. It’s not healthy to start a relationship with resentment.”

“I don’t resent her, I’m just hurt. I don’t care if she keeps her pills away from me. I care that she thinks she has to.”

“Maybe you could just explain that to her. No secrets remember?” Before Allie could respond, Maude continued. “Remember how you said you would let nothing come between the two of you? Don’t let this change that. Now, come on and get your ass inside. Go talk to your girl so you two can get back to grossing out Kaz with your mushiness.”

Allie knew Maude was right. So she didn’t say anything else, just followed Maude back into the house. They would be okay. They could survive their first lovers quarrel. Both being hot blooded women, this surely wouldn't be their last. 

************************************************************************************************

Unbeknownst to the women speaking outside, and against the advice of his lawyer/best-friend,  
they had an audience. An intoxicated Harry barely refrained from making his presence known when that junkie dyke and that old bitch were talking about Bea. His wife was not a fucking dyke. Even if she was playing house with one right now.

She belonged to him and only him, and he wasn’t going to stand by and let this junkie whore steal his woman. Not after he put so many years into training her to his specifications. He might have gotten a little carried away the last time they were together, but who could blame him?

He knew better than to give her a little taste of freedom. He had worried this would happen, and apparently he was right. She was stepping out on him, and it was well within his rights as a man to put her back in place. He didn’t mean to hurt her so bad, it’s just his anger got the best of him. But, she would forgive him, she always did.

There would have to be consequences for her behavior though. He wasn’t going to just bend over and take this. Unlike that bitch in his yard, he wasn’t some queer. 

He would give her a little more time to get over it. He’d let her come to her senses and drop the charges. Then he’d be back. They’d pick up Debbie from her friends and life would go back to normal. This time, things will be different. Bea would stay home where she belonged.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I haven't forgotten about this story. It's just hard to find time to write. And I was going to have this chapter go a much different direction, and leave it on a different kind of cliffhanger, and my better half said I wasn't allowed to do that lol. So this chapter is super long, and hopefully it doesn't take me as long to post the next part.

After a long restless night in anticipation of this day, and having successfully convinced Allie just to drive Harry’s car, Bea sat on the cracked, thinly padded chair, her hand laced with Allie’s. Though the chair was completely uncomfortable, she would sit there forever if need be because today was the day her casts came off. In the weeks since their first big fight, Bea had only grown stronger, and so had their relationship. 

When Allie had finally come back in that night, Bea got a chance to explain her concerns were not out of judgment, but out of love. Since she didn’t know Allie in what her beautiful girlfriend dubbed her stupid years, she didn’t know what to expect. She had gotten most of her information from Kaz, who Allie was just now beginning to speak to again. 

It seemed easier to forgive your lover than your mother. Something Bea could vouch for personally. Maybe you expect more from your family. Maybe in some kind of twisted way you expect your partner to hurt you. But your mother is supposed to be the one person you can count on, no matter what.

Bea had never experienced that though. Before Allie, the only person Bea could ever count on was her daughter. She would die before she ever treated Debbie like the afterthought her mother treated her as. Like Bea was personally responsibly for ruining her mother’s life. Like Bea had been asked to be born to a selfish narcissistic bitch. 

However, unlike Bea’s egg donor and Allie’s birth mother, Kaz did have the best of intentions when it came to Allie. She worried, and probably rightfully so. Like Bea, Allie didn’t always make the best decisions and tended to be her own worst enemy.

Neither of them were perfect, but together they were pretty damn close. As if Allie was reading her mind, she gave Bea’s hand a little squeeze, and leaned in to ask, “Is everything okay, baby? You seem awful quiet.”

“Just thinking about how lucky I am.” Bea smiled at the proof of her good grace.

“You’re crazy. I’m the lucky one.”

“No, baby.”

“Yes, baby.” Allie purred. 

Damn. The jolt of pure pleasure hit Bea straight in her core. The things that woman and her sexy voice did to Bea. She couldn’t wait to do all the things to Allie that she has been dreaming of. And oh what dreams she has had.

Tonight was the night, if Bea had anything to say about it. Allie had been so patient waiting for Bea to be ready. Emotionally she had been there for a long time. She had just been waiting to physically catch up. 

As the nurse came out and called her name, she became that much closer. Per the usual, Bea didn’t want to go without Allie, so her blonde beauty followed her back to the office as Bea hobbled on her crutches for hopefully the last time. 

She smiled as Allie rubbed the small of her back as they walked. Bea couldn’t blame her, she didn't want to break contact either. For the first time in her life, she was truly happy and she didn’t care what anyone had to say about it.

Not even Harry, not anymore. Some days it was easy to forget she was still married to a psychopath, especially since it had been so long since she had heard from him. The fear was waning and the impatience was setting in. Yet, deep down Bea knew she wouldn’t be truly safe until Harry was behind bars, which was the only reason their life was still in limbo. 

She was ready to divorce that bastard already, so her and Allie could officially move on. She was more than ready for Debbie to come home. She talked to her daughter every day, sometimes more than once, but it just wasn’t the same as having her baby home with her. 

One step at at time, Bea reminded herself, again, as they sat down in the slightly more comfortable chairs. You would think as much money as doctors charged their patients, they could afford better seating. At least they wouldn’t be in them for long, Bea hoped, as she lay her head on Allie’s shoulder and waited for her new doctor to come in. 

After telling Bridget the story about her release from the hospital, Bridget recommended a good female doctor to replace that creep Dr. Jackson. Her new doctor insisted on being called Vera, and hadn’t hit on her or Allie, which they both thought to be a good sign. She was no-nonsense and mild-mannered and nothing like Dr. Jackson, which had to be Bea’s favorite thing about her.

Vera, well on her way to being one of Bea’s favorite people, opened the door and simply asked, “You ready to get these casts off?”

“More ready than you could ever imagine,” Bea blushed.

When Allie coughed beside her, Vera shook her head. “I don’t even want to know.”

All Bea could do was laugh, because in all reality, Vera probably didn’t.

“Anyways…” Vera exaggerated with a just as obvious eye roll, “Let’s get you up on this table. A nurse will be bringing in the saw any moment-”

“A saw?” Allie yelped.

“Not the kind you are thinking of, Allie,” Vera explained.

Allie didn’t look convinced when she turned her wide blue eyes Bea’s way. “You’re not worried?”

Bea braced herself on Allie’s shoulder and pushed up to not so gracefully slide over to the table. “I’m a mother of a clumsy daughter who has had numerous broken bones. Vera is right, it’s not the kind of saw you are thinking of. It doesn’t even have a blade. I’ll be fine, baby,” Bea soothed. 

Allie didn’t look any less worried, but she did nod as she reached out to grab Bea’s hand.

Bea couldn’t help but to swoon. Her beautiful girl was worried about her. Bea didn’t know if she would ever get used to such tender loving care, but she would sure appreciate it forever, or for as long as Allie could tolerate her anyways. It was such a nice change compared to what she had become accustomed. 

She was still swooning when the nurse walked in the door with the piece of equipment that was going to finally free her from her restrictions. She had been waiting for this for what seemed like forever. Almost as long as she had known Allie anyways, and though they had only been dating a hot minute, their time together seemed to fly by, while waiting for freedom seemed to drag on. Funny how life worked.

Allie clung tighter to Bea’s good hand, as Vera grabbed the saw with one of hers, and Bea’s cast with the other. When she teased, “This will only hurt a little bit,” Allie huffed, unimpressed. 

“You hurt her, I will-”

Whatever Allie’s threat was went unheard as the saw’s motor roared to life. That was probably for the best. There surely weren’t that many female doctors in their area, especially not ones as nice as Vera. Within a few moments, the cast on her arm was gone.

“Bend your arm for me, Bea,” Vera instructed.

When Bea could do so without hesitation, and more importantly without pain, Allie was the first to cheer, soon followed by Vera and the nurse. Bea felt a little ridiculous, but since it was so nice to be able to move her arm, she bowed from her spot on the table, careful not to lean forward too far. The last thing she needed was another broken bone.

“How does it feel?”

“It feels, well, normal I guess.”

“In my business, normal is great,” Vera advised, which made a lot of sense. “Now, let me ask you this. Have you been taking your brace off your leg for a couple hours a day?”

“Of course I have. I always follow doctors orders.”

“And she calls me doctor,” Allie quipped, causing Bea to gasp and Vera and her nurse to laugh.

“Really, AllieCat, really?” Bea finally questioned, when she got herself at least slightly under control.

“Sorry, baby,” Allie said, though Bea didn’t think she was really all that sorry. Her sexy girlfriend had an even sexier mind, and Bea couldn’t wait to explore it fully, just not in the doctors office, or in front of innocent bystanders. The things she wanted to do were just between her and Allie. She just hoped she could really do all the things she has been dreaming of.

Just as she was starting to fret, again, about her inexperience, Vera said, “Let’s take that brace off and see how you can get around. Then we can get you girls out of here, to do whatever it is you do.”

“Oh, we-” Allie started with a giggle, before Bea wisely cut her off.

“Sounds good, Doc!” Bea exclaimed, eager to stop the nonsense that was bound to come from Allie, and to be declared healthy enough to resume her life. Or in her case, actually begin it.

Bea unclasped the brace, sat it beside her, and then slid off the table, waiting further instructions from Vera. 

“Alright, Bea, walk to the door and then return to Allie.” 

I will always return to Allie. Bea didn’t voice her immediate thought, but that didn’t stop it from reverberating through her. 

With her heart full of love, and her mind full of happy thoughts, Bea took the steps to the door. She already knew what to expect as she had felt a little tenderness but no pain in the previous days preparing for this moment. 

The tears rolled down her face as she turned towards Allie, and her girl jumped up as Vera reached out to her.

With her hand on Bea’s arm, Vera soothed, “If it hurts, sit down. It’s okay, Bea. Sometimes it takes longer than we expect. Bodies heal at their own pace-”

“It doesn't hurt-”

“Are you sure, baby? You don’t have to fake it. We won’t think any less of you.”

“I don’t fake anything.”

“That’s good to know,” Allie teased with a twinkle in her eye before she suddenly got serious again. “I’m serious though, baby.”

Bea felt ridiculous as she wiped the tears from her face, but she did manage to say, “So am I. I don’t hurt, I’m just so glad to finally be done with the casts. I am thankful that I’m feeling so much better. I wasn’t sure I would ever get to this point.”

“I never doubted you, baby. You are a survivor.”

Vera proved she had more advice than just medical, when she advised, “Bones and bruises heal, Bea. It’s the inside that takes the real beating. You have been through a traumatic event, but you are going to be just fine. You seem to have an amazing support system. This girl right here loves you, there is no doubt in my mind. Bridget respects you and will support you in any way possible. I have heard amazing things about that Maude. And what’s Allie’s moms name? Kaz? Yeah, I don’t think anyone wants to be on her bad side. You are a strong woman, surrounded by strong women, and you will no doubt raise a strong woman.”

Self-doubt, the same demon that has plagued Bea her whole life, caused her to scoff. She didn’t always feel strong, and she certainly wasn’t doing a very good job with Debbie. All that she was teaching her recently is how to be a victim, and how to hide from her problems. 

Vera cut off Bea’s internal monologue by insisting, “You might not see it, but we do. I agree with your girlfriend. You have proven yourself to be a survivor, and you could only go up from here. I see great things in your future, Bea. The sky is the limit.”

“Thank you,” Bea whispered. It was nice to hear affirmations from someone besides Allie. Not that she thought her girlfriend didn’t mean the things she said, she just worried that Allie’s bias shined through. 

“It’s the truth, Bea. Now, where were we? I have other patients, so I guess we better finish up here.”

“We are your favorite though, right?”

“Oh, I’m not claiming you. Bea is my patient. You are just a side effect. A symptom maybe”

Bea laughed as Allie’s mouth dropped open, and her beautiful woman was stunned into silence. That didn’t happen often.

Vera nudged Allie with a big smile on her face, before addressing Bea again. “Can you squat for me?”

Bea did so without any fanfare from her girl, who must have still been in shock. She didn’t let many opportunities pass her by. 

“Any pain at all?”

“Just a little tenderness, but nothing compared to what it has been.”

“You might be a little sore for awhile, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.”

“That’s what she said,” Allie quipped.

“She’s back,” Vera teased. “Bea, did you know your girlfriend has the same mindset as a teenage boy?”

“The same drive too. Want to give it a go, Vera?”

“No, she doesn’t,” Bea answered for her, louder than she intended.

Bea might be willing to do a lot of things for Allie, but share was not one of them. It was a monopoly after all. And she won, for life if she had anything to say about it. 

“Well, I would just like to send you for a few x-rays to make sure everything is healed. If all looks well, you will be on your way, and we will just schedule a follow-up in about six weeks. How does that sound?”

“Sounds great to me.”

Within the hour, they were saying their goodbyes to Vera with an appointment card in hand for Bea’s check-up, and heading home for a much needed nap.

They got home just in time to see Maude pull in their driveway, and Kaz walking out the front door, with an overnight bag in hand. 

“Where are you going?” Allie asked her Mama. 

“The girls miss me, I’m going to spend the night at the shelter.”

Maude climbed out of the van and approached the women. “So, no more casts, huh?”

“Nope. I’m finally free.”

Maude reached out and gave Bea a big hug. “Congratulations, Red.”

“Thanks, Maude. For everything. I owe you more than I could ever repay.”

“Nonsense. You took Kaz and Allie off my hands. I owe you.”

“Piss off!” Allie exclaimed. “Why does everyone keep dissing me today? Am I really that bad?”

“Of course not, baby. Everyone just likes picking on you.”

“You do make it easy,” Kaz added. 

“I don’t know what you are on about. She threw you in their too, asshole.”

The laughter echoed in the still of the afternoon. This is what life is all about, Bea thought, as she wrapped her arms around Allie, who fit perfectly right against Bea, as if they were made to be. Bea didn’t believe in things like that, but if she did, it would make sense.

“Anyways, I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon or so,” Kaz explained. “You two need an adult night.”

“Yeah, we do,” Bea and Allie said simultaneously, which started the laughter up again. Maude just shook her head as Kaz gave them a quick group hug and walked to the passenger side of the van before jumping in. 

“Bye, ladies,” Maude stated before climbing in behind the wheel. 

Her and Kaz both waved as they backed out of the drive, and disappeared from sight. Just like that, Bea and Allie were alone. Which didn’t happen often, if ever. Especially not when they could do something about their growing passion. 

“Ready for that nap?” Allie asked, after Bea yawned once again.

“I sure am, baby.” Bea answered, as Allie led them into the house, and into their room. They cuddled up together, and within moments they were both out for the count. 

Hours later, Bea woke alone. She crawled out of bed, and headed down the hall. Bea wiped her eyes as she stumbled into the bathroom, her feet chilled against the tile floor. She raised her head in time to see Allie exit the shower, a towel loosely wrapped around her. Bea tried not to look, tried not to be enticed by Allie’s cleavage that protruded from the towel, but it was no use. Bea finally understood just what it was about breasts that men found so appealing. 

Their plump fullness just begging to be touched, to be caressed. Hard nipples poking out through the soft cotton of the towel. Heat simultaneously rushed between Bea’s legs and her face as Allie cleared her throat.

“I’m...I'm sorry,” Bea sputtered, meeting Allie’s gaze before looking down. Her months of sureness culminated into terror once she could actually do the things she had been dreaming of.

“I’m not,” Allie retorted, before dropping her towel and stepping forward. Bea didn’t look. Couldn't look. “Look at me, Bea.”

Bea took her time raising her eyes, unsure she could look without fainting. How did it get so hot in here? Her eyes trailed up Allie’s body at their own accord. Basking in Allie’s curves, the real woman behind all Bea’s fantasies. Her mouth dropped at the tufts of blond curls between Allie’s legs, and she swore her mouth started to water, before her eyes reached Allie’s breasts. Perky young boobs, dark nubs pointing at Bea, calling out to her.

By the time she thought to look up again, Allie was stepping closer, now just a breath away. “You can touch if you want,” Allie advised.

“I...uh...I-”

“It’s okay, baby, I got you,” Allie cooed before grabbing Bea’s hands and placing them on her breasts. 

Paralyzed, Bea didn’t move her hands at first. She couldn’t move at all. She finally got her hands right where she wanted them, and she couldn’t do anything about it. Not until Allie caressed her face, and kissed her. Gently at first, and then with more urgency.

Then, and only then, could Bea move her fingers. Unsure of what she should do, Bea started by moving her thumbs in small circles, before bravely beginning to knead the delicate flesh below. With all the courage she could muster, Bea bent down and kissed Allie’s breasts.

Her young soon to be lover moaned, and Bea felt it to her toes. When Allie whispered, “I think we should take this to the bedroom,” Bea knew her panties would be wet, and all she could manage to do was nod as Allie led the way.

When Allie stopped right before they reached the bed, and turned around and stared at her, Bea was alarmed. It didn’t take long for her mind to think the worst. Like, maybe Allie finally realized she didn’t want to do this with someone who had no idea what was going on. Someone who admitted sex wasn’t her thing. What kind of enjoyment could Allie possibly get from being with her?

Her fears were only slightly calmed when Allie grabbed her hands and cooed, “You are way overdressed, baby.”

Then Bea’s fears took a different turn. Of course Allie knew Bea had scars, mentally and physically, but once she saw them, surely her attraction would wane. Who could be attracted to someone who looked like they had a run-in with Freddy Kruger? 

 

Okay, maybe not that bad, but when your self-esteem was as low as Bea’s your mind convinced you of all kinds of things. That she wasn’t worthy of a beauty like Allie was just the tip of the iceberg.

“Baby?” Allie whispered. “Are you still with me?”

“Yeah…” Bea mumbled.

“What’s wrong, my love?” The worry etched across Allie’s gorgeous face.

The tears came so quickly they caught Bea as much by surprise as they must have Allie. The fact she was wasting time crying instead of taking advantage of Allie’s nakedness proved her point. She was too damaged to love someone the way they deserved.

“I can’t…”

“Oh, baby,” Allie swept Bea up in a hug that melted Bea’s hardened heart. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Don’t think I am pressuring y-”

“It’s not you. Of course I want to.” Bea was quick to interject. The last thing she wanted was for Allie to blame herself for anything, or for her to feel the kind of doubt that encompassed Bea her whole life. 

“Then what is it, baby?” Allie gently asked as she used her thumbs to wipe the tears from Bea’s face.

“You deserve better than me-”

“There isn’t better than you.”

Bea scoffed as she backed away from Allie, then easily refuted that claim. “I’m too old for you. I’m used up. Yesterday’s news, whatever you want to call it. You are the most beautiful woman in this world, and I am physically and emotionally damaged. Like I said, you deserve better than me.”

Allie once again closed the gap between them before grasping Bea’s shoulders. “Listen, for me, there isn't better than you. You are it for me. You are beautiful on the inside and out. I don’t care about the things you consider imperfections. You are perfectly imperfect to me.” 

Bea shook her head. “You are crazy.”

“Only about you, my love.”

“And in general.”

“Piss off,” Allie giggled.

“You really mean those things?” Bea asked, still scared of the answer.

“Of course I do, and I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving it to you. With that said, I’m serious. We don’t have to do anything you are not ready for tonight. We have forever.”

What Allie didn’t know, couldn’t know, was that her words, her reassurance, her very Allie like essence, lit a spark in Bea like no one ever had before. For the first time in her life, Bea was going to let passion take control.

She lunged at Allie, and when her beauty began to question her, Bea silenced her with a kiss. Not just any kiss, but a kiss that Bea felt to her soul. That made her want to consume Allie in a way she had never experienced before.

Their tongues danced in perfect rhythm, and Bea couldn’t help gyrating her hips against Allie’s. She needed the pressure. She needed release. She needed something before she combust.

If Allie didn’t move to remove Bea’s clothes, Bea would have shed them herself. Allie was correct previously, she was way overdressed. Her only request in that moment, was for the lights to be turned off. 

Allie made it to the wall, flipped the switch, and was back before Bea could have another thought. Once only their shadows danced in the darkened room, Bea raised her arms for Allie to slide her shirt over her head. As if she had done it before, Allie reached around and unclasped Bea’s bra with one hand while her other rested on Bea’s hip. 

Bea decided she wasn’t going to think about how Allie was so good at that. They both had a past, now was not the time to worry about her lover’s. When Allie put her hot lips on Bea’s nipples, Bea was no longer thinking at all, at least not coherently. 

When Allie began tugging at Bea’s waistband, Bea was eager to help, and shimmied right out of her pants. Bea could have fainted when Allie tugged at Bea’s panties and whispered in her ear, “These got to go to, baby.”

Bea tried to respond, wanted to respond, but found words escaped her at the moment. All she could do was nod when Allie slid the last barrier between them down her legs. She didn’t even bother to resist when Allie gave her a light push.

Before she knew it, Bea was on her back on the bed and Allie hovered over her, placing light kisses all over Bea’s body. Bea was melting, into the bed, into Allie, into oblivion. She was feeling things in places that she had forgot existed. 

Allie kissed her way up Bea’s body, her neck and then to her lips. This, Bea was comfortable with. Kissing Allie had quickly become her favorite thing in the world. Their mouths meshed in the best of ways. Their kisses made Bea just as frisky as anything else had. She wanted to consume Allie, to become one, to forever be intertwined with the most amazing woman on the planet. 

When Allie backed her lips off Bea’s, Bea started to object. “Why-”

“Shhh. I just have to ask you one more time before there is no going back. Are you ready for this?”

Bea looked deep in Allie’s eyes, and seeing nothing but love and admiration, and lust of course, she was never so sure of anything in her life. “Please make love to me,” Bea whispered.

As soon as the words left Bea’s mouth, Allie’s lips were back in their rightful place. Her hands trailed down Bea’s body, leaving goosebumps in their wake. When those delicate fingertips made their way between Bea’s legs, they slid in the pool of wetness, horrifying Bea.

She could feel the heat that had all focused between her legs, suddenly divert to her face. “I’m sorry,” Bea hurried to say. The last thing she wanted to do was disgust her woman.

“Sorry for what?” Allie genuinely asked.

“I…don’t know…so wet…”

Her inability to properly speak did not end when Allie took the two fingers that were just between Bea’s legs and stuck them in her mouth. “Your wetness is delightful,” Allie responded, looking Bea right in the eyes. 

It’s a good thing Allie thought so, because Bea swore the sloppy mess doubled in that moment. How could one woman be so sexy? She would never understand, of that she was sure. 

The thing about Allie was, she always kept Bea on her toes. In these circumstances, she’d be curling them in no time. Especially when Allie added, “In fact, you are so delightful, I’m going to have to go straight to the source.”

By the time Bea understood what Allie meant, Allie’s face was buried between her legs. Her tongue flicked faster than Bea ever thought possible as Allie devoured her. It could have been seconds, or it could have been minutes, but as soon as Allie slid her tongue inside Bea, that was it. 

Her whole body tensed up as her insides clenched around Allie’s tongue. Bea’s body shook in pleasure as the pressure that had been building up since the day she met Allie finally lessened. She had never felt such relief in her life. Yet, the tears came faster than she had. 

Allie had raised her head, and was wiping her mouth when she obviously noticed Bea crying, for the millionth time since they met. She was quick to jump up beside Bea, and gather her in her arms. Holding Bea gently, Allie stroked her face, her hair and then back again.

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t think you were ready. I swear I didn’t mean to pressure you.”

It was Bea’s turn to shush Allie. “Please don’t apologize, baby. You didn’t pressure me. I was ready. I’m still ready. I just have never felt so amazing. So loved. So respected and desired all at once. I’m just overwhelmed that’s all. I love you so damn much.”

“I love you too, baby.” 

They lay there in silence, their hearts beating in sync, their breathing matched for a couple of sacred minutes until Allie asked, “Did you say you were still ready?”


End file.
